The following appeared in a memo from the director of a large group of hospitals.
"In a controlled laboratory study of liquid hand soaps, a concentrated solution of extra strength UltraClean hand soap produced a 40 percent greater reduction in harmful bacteria than did the liquid hand soaps currently used in our hospitals. During our recent test of regular-strength UltraClean with doctors, nurses, and visitors at our hospital in Worktown, the hospital reported significantly fewer cases of patient infection (a 20 percent reduction) than did any of the other hospitals in our group. Therefore, to prevent serious patient infections, we should supply UltraClean at all hand-washing stations, including those used by visitors, throughout our hospital system."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
In a memo from the director of large group of hospitals, he claimed that a concentrated solution of extra strength Ultraclean hand soap has been more effective than the regular liquid hand soap they use in hospitals, according to a controlled libratory study. They use this new product in a hospital in Worktown and fewer case of patient infection has been reported, in compare with other hospitals. Because of this report he negatively concluded that all hospitals should use new liquid hand soap. In my idea his conclusion includes many errors and underestimated factors he did not consider in his argument.
First and most, as he said a 40 percent reduction in harmful bacteria had been observed in libratory and 20 percent reduction of patient infection in a selected hospital. he did not say anything about previous statistical data of infection in that hospital which i think is very important to notice. maybe prior infection was 80 percent and decrease to 60 that is not good for a production effectiveness. so we should know statistical data of infection to be able to compare both situations. Also these data should be available for all hospitals. Maybe other hospitals don`t have infection problem severely and so it is not important for them to use this new product. To make a good comparison he needs to give a statistical data about all hospitals infection problem, to see if the new product in even needed.
Secondly, test had been done in a hospital where 20 percent reduction of infection had been reported, but he did not say anything about the reason of infections. Maybe it is not because of dirty hands of nurses and doctors. Maybe it is as a result of not taking care of patients so well, like changing bandages and giving healthy food to them, that cause infection. In addition, no information exist that during which phase of patient illness, infection appeared. so to bolster his assertion he should notice about infection source.
Finally, new Ultraclean hand soap had a 40 percent reduction in harmful bacteria but in their test it has only 20 percent reduction of infection. It should be clear that why it has not been as effective as it was in laboratory. if all infection was because of dirty environment, it had not been useful to change hand cleaner. a test should run in libratory that has same result as in hospital. Maybe it loses its effectivness during time and loses more by time. in this case it wouldn`t be a cleaner! furthermore, a liquid hand washer has been used during all hospitals. a study of a soap had been done to replace a liquid with a solid cleaner. if any comparison wants to be done for a antiseptic, they should be a same kind. a solid soap can not be compared with a liquid because they way people use them is different. so this comparison obstacle to show a reliable result and maybe they should do a test on a liquid one to get a good result.
To sum up, director based his conclusion only on a test in hospital that even the result is vague. The way he suggest is not appropriatly and i think, eventhough result showed increasing infection, it should be transparent why it happened. also statistical data should be addressed to make a accurate conclusion. considering all evidences had been said, i think his argument is in lack of majority factors to make a dicision.
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Sentence: They use this new product in a hospital in Worktown and fewer case of patient infection has been reported, in compare with other hospitals.
Description: The token in is not usually followed by a verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Suggestion: Refer to in and compare
Sentence: In addition, no information exist that during which phase of patient illness, infection appeared. so to bolster his assertion he should notice about infection source.
Description: The fragment information exist that is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace exist with verb, past tense
because they way people use them is different. so this comparison obstacle to show a reliable result and maybe they
Description: A pronoun, personal, nominative, not 3rd person singular is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to they and way
Sentence: The way he suggest is not appropriatly and i think, eventhough result showed increasing infection, it should be transparent why it happened. also statistical data should be addressed to make a accurate conclusion. considering all evidences had been said, i think his argument is in lack of majority factors to make a dicision.
Description: The fragment he suggest is is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace suggest with verb, present tense, 3rd person singular
Sentence: Maybe it loses its effectivness during time and loses more by time. in this case it wouldnt be a cleaner furthermore, a liquid hand washer has been used during all hospitals. a study of a soap had been done to replace a liquid with a solid cleaner. if any comparison wants to be done for a antiseptic, they should be a same kind. a solid soap can not be compared with a liquid because they way people use them is different. so this comparison obstacle to show a reliable result and maybe they
Error: effectivness Suggestion: effectiveness
Sentence: The way he suggest is not appropriatly and i think, eventhough result showed increasing infection, it should be transparent why it happened. also statistical data should be addressed to make a accurate conclusion. considering all evidences had been said, i think his argument is in lack of majority factors to make a dicision.
Error: dicision Suggestion: decision
Error: appropriatly Suggestion: appropriately
Error: eventhough Suggestion: No alternate word
flaws:
Avg. Sentence Length: 32.333 21.0
No. of Words: 582 350
argument 1 -- OK
argument 2 -- OK
argument 3 -- NOT OK
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 4 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 582 350
No. of Characters: 2690 1500
No. of Different Words: 226 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.912 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.622 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.711 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 188 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 148 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 111 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 72 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 32.333 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 22.964 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.667 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.36 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.567 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.224 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5