144. Living in a traditional house or a modern apartment.

Essay topics:

144. Living in a traditional house or a modern apartment.

Submitted by emiku19 on Fri, 11/02/2012 - 01:05

When it comes to choose a place to live people are very picky. They want to get the best place for their families and that's why it is very difficult to choose.Some people prefer to live in a modern apartment. Personally I would prefer to live in a traditional house.In the following paragraph I will give some arguments that support my option.

The most important advantage of living in a traditional house is the outside space. The traditional houses are not too big but they have everything you need including a little land that could be a perfect garden. I love growing flowers, fruits and vegetable, so living in a traditional house give me also the opportunity to have a garden.

Second of all even if a traditional house is not to big it is still bigger that an apartment and it offers you more space for entertainment inside and outside living space. For instance, me and my husband love to eat outside in the summer, to have some chicken on the grill with some salad and a glace of vine staying by the fire. We can not have that if we would live in an apartment.

Last but not at least, living in a traditional house make you fell independent. You are not to close to the noise of your neighbors, and it means a lot to be able to come home to a quiet place after a busy day at work.

In conclusion I would say that no matter the circumstances a traditional house will not only give you a sense of freedom, giving you more privacy but it will also offer you more living space inside and outside of your house and that will make you enjoy every side of it.

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Comments

Sentence: I love growing flowers, fruits and vegetable, so living in a traditional house give me also the opportunity to have a garden.
Description: The fragment house give me is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace give with verb, past tense

Sentence: Last but not at least, living in a traditional house make you fell independent.
Description: The fragment house make you is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace make with verb, past tense

Sentence: For instance, me and my husband love to eat outside in the summer, to have some chicken on the grill with some salad and a glace of vine staying by the fire.
Error: glace Suggestion: No alternate word

flaws:
No. of Words: 296 350
No. of Characters: 1245 1500
No. of Different Words: 144 200

Write the essay with more vocabulary words.

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 20 in 30
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 12 15
No. of Words: 296 350
No. of Characters: 1245 1500
No. of Different Words: 144 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.148 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.206 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.441 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 68 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 41 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 28 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 26 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 24.667 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.812 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.667 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.393 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.674 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.2 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5

It would really help me if you will tell me exactly how do I have to write the sentences mentioned above!
What do you mean when you say to "write the essay with more vocabulary words". The book that I'm using to prepare for the exams tells me that my essay is expected to have about 150 to 225 words.
I would really appreciate if somebody will answer to my questions.I kind of worried b/c I need to make 24 points on writing and my problem is not only the English part but also that I can not type fast enough, and that it takes me to much of my time.......

You don't have problem to write sentences:

Avg. Sentence Length: 24.667 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.812 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.667 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.393 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.674 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.2 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5

Those values mean you are ok on sentences.

You need to pay attention to the flaws we listed to you, like this essay:

No. of Words: 296 350 means you'd better put more words. read those essays on the top list, most of them are around 350 words. The book told you wrongly. 150 to 225 words are the minimum. If you want to get higher mark. write the essay around 350 words.

No. of Characters: 1245 1500 means you have some repetitive words.

No. of Different Words: 144 200 means still you need to improve your vocabulary words. Your vocabulary words are limited.

It takes time to improve the essay writing. You will need to be more patient.

And we figured out you just submit essays but never read other's essays. So we encourage you do following jobs in order to really improve:

1. Don't rush to write something. First, find and list all the flaws we listed for your essays. and analyze what's the problem. every essay may have different problems.

2. Read other top essays.
go this link: http://www.testbig.com/top-scored-essays/TOEFL
and read one by one. after reading, think about if you are going to write the same essays, how are you going to write? how can you get some ideas from those top essays? How much did you improve after reading the top essays.

3. Read some English articles or magazines if possible.

4. You will need to put some time to memorize some new words. It is not just for essay writing, it is good for your reading too. and try to apply those new words to your essays.
Go this link to find practicing for your vocabulary: http://www.testbig.com/toefl

5. You can always submit your essays and we will check out whether you get improved. and we will give you new suggestions.

Let us know if you have any other questions.