Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Today, young people take their own decision and are not dependent on their parents for any decision. Use specific details and examples to support your answer.

Essay topics:

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Today, young people take their own decision and are not dependent on their parents for any decision. Use specific details and examples to support your answer.

Submitted by Ana on Thu, 11/08/2012 - 12:14

Way of living has changed a lot according to modern lifestyle. Every next generation is different and advanced than the old one. Technological development has brought a drastic change in the way of thinking. Old people cannot understand or accept these new technologies soon. So, yes in some areas, young people take their own decision, because they understand, but not in all areas. So, I do not completely agree with the above statement.

On the one hand, young people depend on their parents financially till they start their own career, so they cannot be completely independent in making decision. As, they have to ask or take permission from their parents for any activities. I believe it’s good to take permission from parents, as they would know and they can understand our likes and dislikes. Then, they can support us with their full interest.

On the other hand, some youngsters start working in their early age; they start earning; and then they feel they can be independent, and able to take their own decisions. I believe this differs from country to country. In my country, most of young people prefer to be with their family for their whole life; even though they start their own family. They always prefer to discuss main decision with their parents. This is because, they respect their parents, and this has become a tradition of the country. However, in country like United States, most of young people start their new life as soon as they legally eligible to work. After the age of eighteen, they are free to take their own decision. This does not mean that, they do not respect their parents. It is also a tradition of the country.

Finally, many young people take their own decisions, no matter which country they are in, because they think, they can take better decision than their parents. I think this is also correct up to some points, but not every time, because I grew up in family, where every decision is taken after discussion with parents and elders in family, and we still do that. Hence, I disagree with the above statement.

Votes
Average: 7.5 (8 votes)
This essay topic by users
Post date Users Rates Link to Content
2013-10-31 NAPSTER 90 view
Essay Categories
TOEFL
Essays by user Ana :
>>> more essays by the user >>>

Comments

flaws:
Avg. Sentence Length: 16.182 21.0

'On the other hand' means However. It doesn't mean 'On another hand'.

It is not organized well.

You need to write like this:

para1: i disagree.
para2: reason 1(financially)+ why +example.
para3: reason 2(traditionally)+why+example. Here you need to talk first people in US who are different, then However talk about your own country. Not talk your won country first, then However US.
para4: reason 3 (Parents can take better decision). blabla...
para5: conclusion. because of reason 1,reason 2, reason 3, so i disagree the statement.

Let us know if you didn't get the point.

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 21 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 22 15
No. of Words: 356 350
No. of Characters: 1646 1500
No. of Different Words: 165 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.344 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.624 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.305 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 104 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 74 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 39 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 26 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 16.182 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.211 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.455 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.305 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.464 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.092 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5

Hi,

I rewrite my essay, didn't change a lot, just structure. can you please take second look..?

Way of living has changed a lot according to modern lifestyle. Every next generation is different and advanced than the old one. Technological development has brought a drastic change in the way of thinking. Old people cannot understand or accept these new technologies soon. So, yes in some areas, young people take their own decision, because they understand, but not in all areas. So, I do not completely agree with the above statement.

First, young people depend on their parents financially till they start their own career, so they cannot be completely independent in making decision. As, they have to ask or take permission from their parents for any activities. I believe it’s good to take permission from parents, as they would know and they can understand our likes and dislikes. Then, they can support us with their full interest.

Second, some youngsters start working in their early age; they start earning; and then they feel they can be independent, and able to take their own decisions. I believe this differs from country to country. For example, in United States, most of young people start their new life as soon as they legally eligible to work. After the age of eighteen, they are free to take their own decision. However, my country, most of young people prefer to be with their family for their whole life; even if they start their own family. They always prefer to discuss main decision with their parents. This is because, they respect their parents, and this has become a tradition of the country.

Third, I believe, parents can take better decision than us, because I grew up in family, where every decision is taken after discussion with parents and elders in family and we still do that.

Although, many young people take their own decisions, because they think, they can take better decision than their parents. No matter which country they are in. I think this is also correct up to some points, but not every time, because as stated above, traditional and financial conditions restrict them. Hence, I disagree with the above statement.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This was a bit confusing topic for me; I could not understand whether to compare or contrast with possibilities or not. Because I didn't have strong reasons. Can you please tel me about the reasons I provided..? (for eg. reason of tradition in US and My country..) Are they okay or do I really need to find some more strong reasons..?

Please confirm about corrections.

Thanks,
Ana.

1.You should not partly agree or disagree with a statement. either 100% agree or 100% disagree in an essay.

2. you didn't write the essay body paragraph correctly:

Correct way or 'pattern' should be like this:

First,reason 1 (1 sentence) + why reasons(some arguments. 2-3 sentences) + examples (around 2 sentences) + small conclusions(1-2 sentences).

Second,reason 2 ,blabla... do the same thing like First

Third, reason 3 blabla... do the same thing like First but shorter

3. There are no stronger reasons or weak reasons. Different people may have different reasons. However, you can apply following reasons to almost any essays :

reason 1: save time
reason 2: same money
reason 3: get more info
reason 4: make friends
reason 5: you can prepare some by our own here, blabla...

Let us know if you didn't get the points.

The score for new essay is here:

flaws:
Avg. Sentence Length: 15.909 21.0

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 21 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 22 15
No. of Words: 350 350
No. of Characters: 1660 1500
No. of Different Words: 168 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.325 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.743 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.361 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 110 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 78 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 44 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 28 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 15.909 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.236 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.455 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.307 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.493 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.113 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5

Some topics are like, you cannot completely agree or disagree. I am unable to manage my essay on such topics. Anyways, from now on I will try to stick to one view only( agree or disagree) and try to follow above format.

Thank you so much for detail feedback.

Regards,
Ana.