WRITING TASK 2
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task
Write about the following topic:
Successful sport professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Some people think that it is not the right deal if people who devote themselves to work in sport area become richer than the other important professions. A professional sportman, in one side, has done his or her best effort to accomplish great achievement. Yet, it seems unfair that other important professions, such as doctors and nurses, who give greater contribution for social living are less appreciated in term of income.
A professional sportman has a great determination of hardworking and sometimes, his or her effort is not fully showed to us. The one who has become a Formula One champion like Michael Schumacher, for instance, not only depend on his “talent by birth” to reach this achievement, but also due to consistent practice since his young age. The job that he accomplished was not only in Formula One track, but much more out of his effort out of the track. Becoming a world champion is a great deal, beside the sacrifice of time, social life, study, and also money. We cannot value this achievement as because he would get a great amount of money, yet it also about to cope with entertaining us from his action and his out-of-record sacrifice.
On the other hand, when some sportmen make a great amount of money, there are great numbers of people who dedicate their lives but get less appreciation. For instance, some medical practitioners who enjoy helping others in isolated areas usually get very low salaries, unless they still give the contribution from what they had learnt for many years. Some people think that their decision is not a great deal of life achievement and in addition, there are not many people will devote themselves, skills, and educational degree in this area. But actually, they enjoy their lives.
To sum up, one who contributes themselves to work by helping other people must get the equal appreciation with professional sportmen who earn great deal of money. Appreciation is not only looked by the salary or wage they make, but also how beneficial their selves for the society are. Therefore, we have to acknowledge every single step that they make, whether what kind of job he or she has. There must be out-of-record efforts that are priceless.
Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
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2014-02-21 | Rully | 50 | view |
2014-02-21 | ildiscente | 70 | view |
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Sentence: A professional sportman, in one side, has done his or her best effort to accomplish great achievement.
Error: sportman Suggestion: sportsman
Sentence: A professional sportman has a great determination of hardworking and sometimes, his or her effort is not fully showed to us.
Error: sportman Suggestion: sportsman
Sentence: On the other hand, when some sportmen make a great amount of money, there are great numbers of people who dedicate their lives but get less appreciation.
Error: sportmen Suggestion: sportsmen
Sentence: To sum up, one who contributes themselves to work by helping other people must get the equal appreciation with professional sportmen who earn great deal of money.
Error: sportmen Suggestion: sportsmen
flaws:
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.812 0.12
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 69 80
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.5 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 4 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 374 350
No. of Characters: 1774 1500
No. of Different Words: 191 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.398 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.743 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.682 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 106 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 69 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 55 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 39 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.375 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.983 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.812 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.341 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.539 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.124 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5