WRITING TASK 2You should spend about 40 minutes on this taskWrite about the following topic:Successful sport professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others

Essay topics:

WRITING TASK 2

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task

Write about the following topic:

Successful sport professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe, successful sports professionals can earn a great deal money than people in other important professions. I believe every professions have advantages and give benefit like sports professionals.

Nowadays, sports professionals have a many benefit. They become a rich because have good record in the major. We can see the example, David Beckham is a rich football player in the world from England. He have a property more than hollywood actor and actrees. Beside Beckham, we also ever hear about Manny Pacquiao, boxer from Philiphine. He before just a unemployee, now he have many business and even now he will try to become a Governor in his country. Thats proof, sports is something with prospective benefit for someone if they success in that major.

Become a rich and success just not get with sports. Many professions can make a people become rich, success and even become famous all around the world. The example professions is someone who work in Communications Technologie. Who people dont know Mark Zuckerberg, he make a social network for people. He help people more easier to interact every time even in a long distance, that is facebook. He have a lot benefit after create the facebook and even become a rich man in the world under 30 years version Forbes Magazine. Beside Mark Zuckerberg, we absolutely know Bill Gates and Steve Jobs. They are founding father of Microsoft and Apple. They can success without become a sports professionals.

In my conclutions, every professions have a benefit for someone. Just not become a sports, but you can success with the other professions like bankir, actor, pilot and many other professions. Whatever your professions, if you try to like and loving your professions and then have a good track record in that major, you will get many success and money, you even become famous in all over the world.

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2014-02-21 Rully 50 view
2014-02-21 ildiscente 70 view
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Comments

I believe every professions have advantages
I believe all professions have advantages

Nowadays, sports professionals have a many benefit.
Nowadays, sports professionals have many benefits.

They become a rich because have good record in the major
They become rich because of the good record in the major

now he have many business
now he has many business

Sentence: Thats proof, sports is something with prospective benefit for someone if they success in that major.
Description: A pronoun, personal, nominative, not 3rd person singular is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to they and success

The example professions is someone who work in Communications Technologie.
The example profession is someone who works in Communications Technologie.

Sentence: Who people dont know Mark Zuckerberg, he make a social network for people.
Description: A WH-pronoun, nominative is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to Who and people
Description: The fragment he make a is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace make with verb, past tense

Sentence: He help people more easier to interact every time even in a long distance, that is facebook.
Description: The fragment He help people is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace help with verb, past tense

Sentence: He have a lot benefit after create the facebook and even become a rich man in the world under 30 years version Forbes Magazine.
Description: A preposition is not usually followed by a verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Suggestion: Refer to after and create
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to years and version

Sentence: They can success without become a sports professionals.
Description: A modal auxillary is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to can and success

Sentence: Just not become a sports, but you can success with the other professions like bankir, actor, pilot and many other professions.
Description: A modal auxillary is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to can and success

Sentence: He have a property more than hollywood actor and actrees.
Error: actrees Suggestion: actress

Sentence: He before just a unemployee, now he have many business and even now he will try to become a Governor in his country.
Error: unemployee Suggestion: No alternate word

Sentence: In my conclutions, every professions have a benefit for someone.
Error: conclutions Suggestion: conclusions

flaws:
No. of Different Words: 149 200
No. of Grammatical Errors: 12 2

Read a good grammar book.

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.0 out of 9
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 12 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 3 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 313 350
No. of Characters: 1514 1500
No. of Different Words: 149 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.206 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.837 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.605 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 106 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 68 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 41 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 28 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 14.905 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.064 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.19 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.346 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.488 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.202 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5