Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Famous entertainers and athletes deserve to have more privacy than they have now. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
In today’s world, with the development of social media, famous entertainers and athletes are much more recognizable for ordinary people. I firmly believe that they deserve more privacy, especially in public places. I feel this way for two reasons, which I will elaborate in the following essay.
To begin with, any people, no matter who is famous or not, need their own privacy in their lives. People in their lives have some desires and one of them is public interaction with other people in society. Nowadays, famous entertainers and athletes prefer to hide from public eyes, because they feel that other people are trespassing their private lives. For instance, in our neighborhood, a very famous actor lives. He used to do his buying and walking his dog on his own in the public. But, after some days, people came and circulated around him for taking pictures and his signature. As a result, he lost his own privacy and hired an employee who does these tasks that he used to do. So, he cannot enjoy even little things in his life like other people who have the right to do these.
Furthermore, these days, renowned peoples’ lives are much more under survey from regular people. Ordinary people always want to follow the lifestyle of famous people. Therefore, journalists spend more time on the surveillance of famous people's lives, as the desire from society. In this case, popular people have to watch their behavior out in the public, because it mays see by people and their behavior judged. For example, a recent case happened in my city, Tehran, and it is compelling evidence of this. Bahram Radan is one of the famous actors in our country. In the last two weeks, when he came out from his home, he always followed by paparazzi who takes his pictures illegally. In this way, he cannot wear casual clothes or smoke cigarettes as other people do. Consequently, their lives are harder now than in the past due to this response from society.
In conclusion, I totally believe that these days the lives of renowned people are tougher than the past famous people because of the lack of privacy in their lives. This lack of privacy not only affects their routine lives, but it also makes them under society judges.
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- TPO-30 - Integrated Writing Task A little over 2,200 years ago, the Roman navy attacked the Greek port city of Syracuse. According to some ancient historians, the Greeks defended themselves with an ingenious weapon called a "burning mirror": a p 66
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Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, consequently, furthermore, if, may, so, therefore, for example, for instance, i feel, in conclusion, as a result, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 9.0 15.1003584229 60% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 4.0 9.8082437276 41% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 13.8261648746 87% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 11.0286738351 91% => OK
Pronoun: 53.0 43.0788530466 123% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 57.0 52.1666666667 109% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 8.0752688172 62% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1849.0 1977.66487455 93% => OK
No of words: 384.0 407.700716846 94% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.81510416667 4.8611393121 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.4267276788 4.48103885553 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.46291945102 2.67179642975 92% => OK
Unique words: 197.0 212.727598566 93% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.513020833333 0.524837075471 98% => OK
syllable_count: 592.2 618.680645161 96% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 9.59856630824 115% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 3.51792114695 171% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 9.0 4.94265232975 182% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 20.6003584229 107% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 20.1344086022 84% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 27.3660524454 48.9658058833 56% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 84.0454545455 100.406767564 84% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.4545454545 20.6045352989 85% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.27272727273 5.45110844103 115% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 0.0 5.5376344086 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 11.8709677419 51% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 3.85842293907 156% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 10.0 4.88709677419 205% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.171230725997 0.236089414692 73% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0554771833145 0.076458572812 73% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0341156763734 0.0737576698707 46% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.114569110852 0.150856017488 76% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0382022505366 0.0645574589148 59% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.0 11.7677419355 85% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 62.68 58.1214874552 108% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.7 10.1575268817 86% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.38 10.9000537634 95% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.85 8.01818996416 98% => OK
difficult_words: 82.0 86.8835125448 94% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 10.002688172 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 10.0537634409 88% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 66.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 20.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.