Research indicates that the characteristics we are born with have much more influence on our personality and development than any experiences we may have in our life.
Which do you consider to be the major influence?
The controversial issue about the main effect of individuals' personality and advance is not uncommon nowadays. Research figures out the vital influence on natural characteristics in terms of future development. However, I tend to argue for the experiences people may face with in their life as the initial impact for their personality.
To start with, individuals tend to transform themselves during their growth. After acquiring enough knowledge about academic studies and life skills as well, they may know how to distinguish right from wrong in order to make a better life. Specifically, the youngsters work increasingly arduously for the sake of brighten future due to their awareness of the stiff competition in the society, as they realize the importance of professional acknowledge during schooling.
Moreover, it is the social experience that moulds individuals with independence and tolerance. No one can be born with such personality without the help of his or her own story. As can be recognized easily, some teenagers are overly independent on their parents while some other earn money through their own hard work, which contributes to the different parenting ways. In addition, when confronted with difficult problems, people may not always know how to tackle at the very first time, however, they may confidently combat the same issue some day later, which the experience should be praised.
Admittedly, some individuals are, by nature, talent in some areas such as languages and mathematics. They can quickly handle their strengths compared with the others who lack the natural intelligence in these fields. Nevertheless, all people have to learn and practice regardless of the nature-born advantages, just as nobody can talk without imitation.
Generally speaking, the characteristics people are natural born with are essential to their development, but without any experiences they may have in the society, the natural characteristics seem to make no sense. Therefore, I consider the experiences during individuals' growth the main fact of their own personality and advance.
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flaws:
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.053 0.07
You didn't develop sentences smoothly or properly. Those are sentences which have issues potentially:
1. Research figures out the vital influence on natural characteristics in terms of future development.
We are expecting a complete sentence after 'figures out', but you put a phrase;
2. I tend to argue for the experiences people may face with in their life as the initial impact for their personality.
We are expecting a complete sentence after 'argue', but you put a phrase 'for the experiences';
3. as they realize the importance of professional acknowledge during schooling. //same for 'realize'
4. which contributes to the different parenting ways.
Description: 'which ' refers to what?
5. ,which the experience should be praised.
Description: 'which ' is not used properly here. Think why
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.0 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 323 350
No. of Characters: 1727 1500
No. of Different Words: 188 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.239 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.347 4.6
Word Length SD: 3.017 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 123 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 93 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 72 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 60 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.533 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.016 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.667 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.313 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.579 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.053 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5