Describe your field of study and what has influenced your decision to pursue this path. How would this scholarship help you to achieve your goals and facilitate your growth as a leader in your chosen field.
Dear Sir/Madam
My name is Anh Le Kim Kieu Anh. I am applying for the GE foundation scholar-leaders 2014. Presently, i am studying in Finance and Banking. I believe my chosen profession will enable me to fulfill all of my desires to gain achievements and growth as a leader in my career.
From my childhood, I was always interested in caculations and quantity comparision, thus making me curious about Maths. I was also remarkable for my prodious memory and ..... ability to calculate in not only Maths but Physics as well. At the age of fourteen, I won a Maths award on District Competition for excellent student. It was this moment that led me to go on pursueing natural science subjects group in high school.
My enthusiasm and consideration for this subject help me to achieve the highest score in Maths at high school. At that time, I ever though that my life would accompany with Maths. However, when I was in the final year of high school, pressure and a great deal of knowledge made me really overwhelmed and somewhat demotivated. Moreover, I unconciously obtained a large amount of language without acknowledging the purpose and the application of it in the future. It was the moment I made the toughest choice ever in my life on which path I would pursue in my later life. Seniors as well as my parents and siblings argued that Maths is a pure science subject that is incredibly time-consuming and entails great effort to follow, nevertheless it has no practical applications in the real life. Meanwhile, Physics and Chemistry, for example, are able to facilitate my growth as a engineer or doctor. Almost people, therefore, recommended me to turn to another path rather than Maths in the upcoming years at university. After weeks of great fatigue concerning taking my next steps, I felt dishearted under intense pressure to succeed. By chance, I met a heading new on the Internet demonstrating one of the most principal cause that was responsible for Miachae Jackson’s death. It was believed that his death was mainly attributed to overload working for the sake of cover his debt. I was really taken aback by this piece of information as why such a well-known as MJ was in debt.
Upon my discovering about MJ life, I discovered that unability to balance between his income and expenditure was mainly responsible for his lack of money, thus cause him in debt. Suddenly, an idea crossed out my ming that Maths was not useless at all, many areas in life that associates with Mathematics, particularly in finance.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2014-03-21 | Lê Kim Kiều Anh | 85 | view |
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Sentence: From my childhood, I was always interested in caculations and quantity comparision, thus making me curious about Maths.
Error: comparision Suggestion: comparison
Error: caculations Suggestion: calculations
Sentence: I was also remarkable for my prodious memory and ..... ability to calculate in not only Maths but Physics as well.
Error: prodious Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: It was this moment that led me to go on pursueing natural science subjects group in high school.
Error: pursueing Suggestion: pursuing
Sentence: Moreover, I unconciously obtained a large amount of language without acknowledging the purpose and the application of it in the future.
Error: unconciously Suggestion: unconsciously
Sentence: After weeks of great fatigue concerning taking my next steps, I felt dishearted under intense pressure to succeed.
Error: dishearted Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: I was really taken aback by this piece of information as why such a well-known as MJ was in debt.
Error: well-known Suggestion: well known
Sentence: Upon my discovering about MJ life, I discovered that unability to balance between his income and expenditure was mainly responsible for his lack of money, thus cause him in debt.
Error: unability Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: Suddenly, an idea crossed out my ming that Maths was not useless at all, many areas in life that associates with Mathematics, particularly in finance.
Error: ming Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: By dint of rigorious tranning and experience like this, students as well as me might have fundamental insight in leadership.
Error: rigorious Suggestion: rigorous
Error: tranning Suggestion: training
Sentence: Therefore, GE Foundation scholar will significantly equip Vietnamese students knowlegge, skills which they do not have in university, nuturing their ability, experience to become a truly leader in the future.
Error: knowlegge Suggestion: knowledge
Error: nuturing Suggestion: No alternate word
flaws:
No. of Spelling Errors: 13 2
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.0 out of 6
Category: Very Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 13 2
No. of Sentences: 51 15
No. of Words: 1041 350
No. of Characters: 5152 1500
No. of Different Words: 474 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 5.68 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.949 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.92 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 384 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 307 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 211 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 144 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.412 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.892 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.353 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.246 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.506 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.086 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 12 5