The following appeared as part of a business plan developed by the manager of the Rialto Movie Theater.
"Despite its downtown location, the Rialto Movie Theater, a local institution for five decades, must make big changes or close its doors forever. It should follow the example of the new Apex Theater in the mall outside of town. When the Apex opened last year, it featured a video arcade, plush carpeting and seats, and a state-of-the-art sound system. Furthermore, in a recent survey, over 85 percent of respondents reported that the high price of newly released movies prevents them from going to the movies more than five times per year. Thus, if the Rialto intends to hold on to its share of a decreasing pool of moviegoers, it must offer the same features as Apex."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation
In this memoranda, the author made a conclusion about the needed efforts for increasing audience towards Rialto Movie Theater. The author seems to prefer mordernisation of this old theater as the most effective step here. This solution may seem effective but it can’t be accepted for the three following reasons.
First of all, the author states that Rialto is a very old movie theater aging about five decades. The author may observe this as a non favorable side but it may not stand true. There might be some dedicated fans of this theater who would always like to prefer this theater over any other. However, sometimes people tend to like vintage things. So completely transforming Rialto Movie Theater might destroy its original charm which can result in losing its original customers. As a result, both new and original customers might lean towards the newly built movie theater which can cause more loss to Rialto Movie Theater.
Secondly, the author states that survey correspondents complained about high price of movies. But as time flies, price of things go higher day by day. We can’t compare the new price with the old ones. The authenticity of the information given by survey participants might not be valid. The same price point can be comfortable for some while others may feel a bit unfavorable. Again, movie has been a very popular media of entertainment over the years so the decrease in the audience seems a little odd. So the author should have ensured variety of participants engaging in the survey .
Lastly, the more exclusive the features are, the more pricy it should be. So movie prices in Apex Theater might be a little bit high but that doesn’t mean Rialto has to do the same. Completely transforming an age old theater is a very expensive task and if Apex and Rialto become the same then people might rather choose the new one over the old. So Rialto should be unique in terms of other movie theaters to attract more customers. Rialto should retain its originality as well as introduce some exotic features to return back in business.
In conclusion, the author suggested few good points about growing the business of an old movie theater at the same time the author seems to overlook quite a few terms. The author must answer for the above three assumptions to make a persuasive case
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 23 15
No. of Words: 398 350
No. of Characters: 1881 1500
No. of Different Words: 197 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.467 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.726 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.469 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 131 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 76 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 50 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 34 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 17.304 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.629 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.739 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.308 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.308 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.085 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 4, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'these'?
Suggestion: these
In this memoranda, the author made a conclusion...
^^^^
Line 3, column 55, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...author states that survey correspondents complained about high price of movies. B...
^^
Line 3, column 414, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[2]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'medium'?
Suggestion: medium
...e. Again, movie has been a very popular media of entertainment over the years so the ...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 585, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...y of participants engaging in the survey . Lastly, the more exclusive the feature...
^^
Line 4, column 92, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...e pricy it should be. So movie prices in Apex Theater might be a little bit high ...
^^
Line 4, column 118, Rule ID: LITTLE_BIT[1]
Message: Reduce redundancy by using 'little' or 'bit'.
Suggestion: little; bit
...ovie prices in Apex Theater might be a little bit high but that doesn’t mean Rialto has t...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 517, Rule ID: RETURN_BACK[1]
Message: Use simply 'return'.
Suggestion: return
...ll as introduce some exotic features to return back in business. In conclusion, the author...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, however, if, lastly, look, may, second, secondly, so, then, well, while, as to, in conclusion, as a result, as well as, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 11.0 19.6327345309 56% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 21.0 12.9520958084 162% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 11.1786427146 63% => OK
Relative clauses : 6.0 13.6137724551 44% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 16.0 28.8173652695 56% => OK
Preposition: 41.0 55.5748502994 74% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 16.3942115768 37% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1928.0 2260.96107784 85% => OK
No of words: 397.0 441.139720559 90% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.8564231738 5.12650576532 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.46372701284 4.56307096286 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.53070335744 2.78398813304 91% => OK
Unique words: 200.0 204.123752495 98% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.503778337531 0.468620217663 108% => OK
syllable_count: 608.4 705.55239521 86% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 4.96107784431 40% => OK
Article: 11.0 8.76447105788 126% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 19.7664670659 116% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 22.8473053892 74% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 31.0664876364 57.8364921388 54% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 83.8260869565 119.503703932 70% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.2608695652 23.324526521 74% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.26086956522 5.70786347227 110% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 7.0 5.25449101796 133% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 8.20758483034 146% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 6.88822355289 44% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.67664670659 171% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.255111353698 0.218282227539 117% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.077165823304 0.0743258471296 104% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.072657976217 0.0701772020484 104% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.149118911499 0.128457276422 116% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0742251927104 0.0628817314937 118% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.1 14.3799401198 70% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 62.68 48.3550499002 130% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.7 12.197005988 71% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.61 12.5979740519 84% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.54 8.32208582834 91% => OK
difficult_words: 77.0 98.500998004 78% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 12.3882235529 65% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 11.1389221557 79% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.