The following is a recommendation from the business manager of Monarch Books.
"Since its opening in Collegeville twenty years ago, Monarch Books has developed a large customer base due to its reader-friendly atmosphere and wide selection of books on all subjects. Last month, Book and Bean, a combination bookstore and coffee shop, announced its intention to open a Collegeville store. Monarch Books should open its own in-store café in the space currently devoted to children's books. Given recent national census data indicating a significant decline in the percentage of the population under age ten, sales of children's books are likely to decline. By replacing its children's books section with a café, Monarch Books can increase profits and ward off competition from Book and Bean."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
The business manager of Monarch books, concludes that, substituting its children’s books section with a café might increase the profit made from sales of books and also ward off competition from their counterparts Book and Bean. However, while the conclusion of monarch book store manager might hold water, its suggestion rests on unfounded ideas which if not substantiated, will dramatically weaken the persuasiveness of the argument. Thus, the following three questions must be answered.
Firstly, the census data indicating a significant decline in the percentage of the sales of children’s book under age ten, carried out scientifically? May be the survey was carried out through online voting, and majority of the voters were ardent supporters of Bean Book. Perhaps it might be a ploy made by them just to give false data on the outcome of the data collected. Perhaps what if the s population census was carried out only in areas closer to monarch bookstore, and areas far from the bookstore has not being accounted for, this will distort the outcome of the population census, making it flawed.
Secondly, what is the assurance that if they should expand their business, by also having a café to subvert competition, will make them vanquish their competition?
For instance, what if Bean Book offers attractive discount, or sell at a lower price than the amount monarch is offering to sell their books, if this happens this will affect the overall income generated on a yearly basis, and if care is not taken they might lose all their customers to Bean Book.
Finally, what if most parents do come to the book store with their children, how will they feel when they noticed their children spots have been replaced with a café? Perhaps they might feel disillusioned with the store, and as a result of this, they might lose a large percentage of their customers, which in turn affects their productivity and make them less competitive against their rivals Bean Book.
In conclusion, while monarch manager might have come to a sound conclusion regarding the need to have a café, more data is needed before a firm conclusion is reached. If the manager answers the above three questions, it will be possible to fully evaluate the validity of the argument.
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- The following is a recommendation from the business manager of Monarch Books Since its opening in Collegeville twenty years ago Monarch Books has developed a large customer base due to its reader friendly atmosphere and wide selection of books on all subj 57
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 10 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 13 15
No. of Words: 377 350
No. of Characters: 1834 1500
No. of Different Words: 188 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.406 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.865 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.606 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 117 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 92 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 59 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 41 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 29 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.066 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.923 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.351 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.51 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.108 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 3 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 354, Rule ID: IF_IS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'is'?
Suggestion: is
...ggestion rests on unfounded ideas which if not substantiated, will dramatically we...
^^
Line 2, column 155, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[8]
Message: The proper name in singular (May) must be used with a third-person verb: 'is'.
Suggestion: is
...ge ten, carried out scientifically? May be the survey was carried out through onli...
^^
Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... population census, making it flawed. Secondly, what is the assurance that if ...
^^^
Line 6, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...titive against their rivals Bean Book. In conclusion, while monarch manager mig...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, finally, first, firstly, however, if, may, regarding, second, secondly, so, thus, while, for instance, in conclusion, as a result
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 19.6327345309 71% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 17.0 12.9520958084 131% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 11.1786427146 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 5.0 13.6137724551 37% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 30.0 28.8173652695 104% => OK
Preposition: 49.0 55.5748502994 88% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 16.3942115768 67% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1894.0 2260.96107784 84% => OK
No of words: 377.0 441.139720559 85% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.02387267905 5.12650576532 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.4064143971 4.56307096286 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.72476418434 2.78398813304 98% => OK
Unique words: 200.0 204.123752495 98% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.53050397878 0.468620217663 113% => OK
syllable_count: 566.1 705.55239521 80% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 3.0 8.76447105788 34% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 5.0 1.67365269461 299% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 13.0 19.7664670659 66% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 29.0 22.8473053892 127% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 64.3119247779 57.8364921388 111% => OK
Chars per sentence: 145.692307692 119.503703932 122% => OK
Words per sentence: 29.0 23.324526521 124% => OK
Discourse Markers: 10.3846153846 5.70786347227 182% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.25449101796 76% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 8.20758483034 73% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.67664670659 64% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.201844686267 0.218282227539 92% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0750408639529 0.0743258471296 101% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0778757915717 0.0701772020484 111% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.105989554964 0.128457276422 83% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0980760170336 0.0628817314937 156% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.7 14.3799401198 116% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 50.5 48.3550499002 104% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.4 12.197005988 110% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.43 12.5979740519 99% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.93 8.32208582834 107% => OK
difficult_words: 92.0 98.500998004 93% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 12.3882235529 93% => OK
gunning_fog: 13.6 11.1389221557 122% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 83.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.