Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
People benefit more from traveling in their own country than from traveling to foreign countries.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Despite of many benefits of traveling in our own countries, such as visiting our historical monuments and helping to our economy, traveling to other countries would be more advantageous. I personally, think that traveling to foreign countries is more lucrative for two following reasons.
To begin with, according to the variety of cultures among all countries, traveling to different countries could provide a very great opportunity for people to get familiar with these cultures. As well as the cultures, the various religions of people, all around the world, are another appealing aspect of traveling to other countries. For instance, I had a delightful experience, when I traveled to Malaysia. In that trip, I was so fortunate to stay in one of Malaysian family's house for five days. They cooked their traditional foods for me, explained about their rituals, cultures and so forth. I have obtained so many information about their religion, Islam. Their mosques, where they went for preying, were amazing and peaceful. If I chose to travel in my country instead of traveling Malaysia, I would not have information about Islam and Malaysian’s culture.
Moreover, for practicing other languages besides our mother tong, traveling to foreign countries is the best way. Because of advanced technology and the internet, we are living in a world without any borders. Therefore, learning different languages are obligatory and by means of traveling abroad, we can use our multi-lingual literacy in purpose of obviating our needs. My personal experience is a compelling example of what I mean. When I decided to travel to Armenia, I was learning English. Thus, in Armenia I had to use English for communicating in hotel, taxi and restaurants. After coming back to my home, my English was truly improved. In comparison, traveling in my own country could not provide me such a marvelous experience.
In conclusion, I firmly believe that by traveling to other countries, we could have the chance of getting to know other cultures and religions. In addition, it is a helpful way for practicing other languages through the necessary use of regarding language.
- TOEFL T P O 14 integrated writing task 70
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
Despite of many benefits of traveling in...
^^^^^
Line 1, column 294, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...re lucrative for two following reasons. To begin with, according to the variety ...
^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 621, Rule ID: MANY_FEW_UNCOUNTABLE[2]
Message: Use 'much' or 'little' with uncountable nouns.
Suggestion: much; little
...ltures and so forth. I have obtained so many information about their religion, Islam...
^^^^
Line 2, column 621, Rule ID: MANY_NN_U[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun information seems to be uncountable; consider using: 'much information', 'a good deal of information'.
Suggestion: much information; a good deal of information
...ltures and so forth. I have obtained so many information about their religion, Islam. Their mosq...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... about Islam and Malaysian’s culture. Moreover, for practicing other languages...
^^^^^
Line 4, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...rovide me such a marvelous experience. In conclusion, I firmly believe that by ...
^^^^^
Line 4, column 149, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...g to know other cultures and religions. In addition, it is a helpful way for pract...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
besides, if, moreover, regarding, so, therefore, thus, well, for instance, i mean, in addition, in conclusion, such as, as well as, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 12.0 15.1003584229 79% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 9.8082437276 61% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 13.8261648746 58% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 6.0 11.0286738351 54% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 39.0 43.0788530466 91% => OK
Preposition: 57.0 52.1666666667 109% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 8.0752688172 87% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1810.0 1977.66487455 92% => OK
No of words: 347.0 407.700716846 85% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.21613832853 4.8611393121 107% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.31600926901 4.48103885553 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.00818451313 2.67179642975 113% => OK
Unique words: 191.0 212.727598566 90% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.550432276657 0.524837075471 105% => OK
syllable_count: 571.5 618.680645161 92% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 15.0 9.59856630824 156% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 3.51792114695 171% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 10.0 4.94265232975 202% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 20.6003584229 97% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 20.1344086022 84% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 39.7799886878 48.9658058833 81% => OK
Chars per sentence: 90.5 100.406767564 90% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.35 20.6045352989 84% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.25 5.45110844103 133% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 7.0 5.5376344086 126% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 11.8709677419 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 3.85842293907 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.88709677419 143% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.238211388386 0.236089414692 101% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0737760591361 0.076458572812 96% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0646577692584 0.0737576698707 88% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.150691257332 0.150856017488 100% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0722751281105 0.0645574589148 112% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.8 11.7677419355 100% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 54.22 58.1214874552 93% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 10.1575268817 97% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.7 10.9000537634 117% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.67 8.01818996416 108% => OK
difficult_words: 92.0 86.8835125448 106% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 10.002688172 110% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 10.0537634409 88% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.