Why should the government help working parents by providing child care facilities.( RE-WRITE)

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Why should the government help working parents by providing child care facilities.( RE-WRITE)

Presently, the numbers of working mothers are surging day by day. Working mothers are now working for the benefit of the whole family. In some countries, the government provides financial assistance to the parents who use childcare, and I will give some reasons why I think it is a good idea.

To begin with, childcare centers may assist children in their early development. They are specially qualified peoples and they know how to handle these little brains. They give children an opportunity to mix with other children and develop social skills at an early stage. Indeed, in professional childc...

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2012-12-30 Tessy James 90 view
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IELTS

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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 8.0 out of 9
Category: Excellent Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 383 350
No. of Characters: 1941 1500
No. of Different Words: 205 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.424 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.068 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.638 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 156 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 121 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 73 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 46 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.15 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.567 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.45 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.298 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.488 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.068 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5

Sir...

Thanks for the correction..

How the paragraph order...

Introduction, 1,2,3 para, conclusion
Or
1st(intro),2,3,4, para, 5th(conclusion)...

Thanks
Tessy

No great difference. But we tend to like the second style:
1st(intro),2,3,4, para, 5th(conclusion)

It is easier to manage. Read those top essays for GMAT/GRE, over 90% of users used this style.

But IELTS essay topics are little bit different to TOEFL, GMAT or GRE essays. Sometimes you are asked to argue both side. So you will need to choose the first style.

Anyway, write the essay according to the topic. The style is not going to affect your final marks.