an unforgettable memory that you have along your life

Essay topics:

an unforgettable memory that you have along your life

When I was child, my father, my mother and I went to home of my father’s friend. They welcome us well. They served tea, coffee and some snacks for us. Time to time, my parents and their friend talked closer than before and no one cared about me. I was alone and still young. I did not understand what they told, so I was bored and quiet. “what a day” I thought.

Then, I asked permission with my mother to go to toilet. Actually, I just wanted to escaped from there and looked for something. I was in toilet when I saw a beautiful yard behind home of my father’s friend. I went there “w...

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2014-04-20 hasna zeal 83 view

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When I was child
When I was a child

Sentence: Actually, I just wanted to escaped from there and looked for something.
Description: The token to is not usually followed by a verb, past participle
Suggestion: Refer to to and escaped

Sentence: Above all I could escaped from the dog.
Description: A modal auxillary is not usually followed by a verb, past participle
Suggestion: Refer to could and escaped

Sentence: Why did not get up eventhough I had thrown it by two stones.
Error: eventhough Suggestion: No alternate word

Sentence: But I realized stange, now the dog has gotten up and looked at me angrily.
Error: stange Suggestion: stage

Sentence: The dog closed me step by step and I could see its teeth, it was ready for bitting.
Error: bitting Suggestion: No alternate word

Sentence: Thenceforth, I just realized that if you are catched by dog, don't run but just sit and keep calm.
Error: catched Suggestion: No alternate word

flaws:
Avg. Sentence Length: 10.343 21.0

More compound or complex sentences wanted.

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.5 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 4 2
No. of Sentences: 35 15
No. of Words: 362 350
No. of Characters: 1375 1500
No. of Different Words: 179 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.362 4.7
Average Word Length: 3.798 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.022 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 76 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 37 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 19 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 9 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 10.343 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.382 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.429 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.365 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.454 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.142 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5