The following appeared in a memo from a vice president of Quiot Manufacturing.
"During the past year, Quiot Manufacturing had 30 percent more on-the-job accidents than at the nearby Panoply Industries plant, where the work shifts are one hour shorter than ours. Experts say that significant contributing factors in many on-the-job accidents are fatigue and sleep deprivation among workers. Therefore, to reduce the number of on-the-job accidents at Quiot and thereby increase productivity, we should shorten each of our three work shifts by one hour so that employees will get adequate amounts of sleep."
Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.
The vice president of Quiot Manufacturing draws a conclusion that more sleep for the workers
at Quiot would lead to lesser number of on-the-job accidents. He bases this conclusion on the assumption that one hour of lesser shift timings benefited the workers at Panoply.
These arguments however don't seems to merit the author's conclusion as the conditions at Panoply and Quiot may not be similar after all.
The author begins with the assumption that 30 percent more accidents occur at Quiot because the shifts of workers are longer by one hour than the shift timings at Panoply.
However, the author doesn't take into consideration the fact that workers may not be sleeping enough only because of the extra hour in their shift but because they spend time in other activities after their shift finishes.
For example, its possible some workers don't earn enough money and thus work two jobs. Due to which they are possibly unable to complete their sleep. Others could possibly be spending their time binge-watching or playing games rather than sleeping.
The author just doesn't look for strong proofs. Thus it is absolutely incorrect for the author to assume that merely one extra hour on the shift caused the workers at Quiot sleep deprivation.
The author further leaps to the conclusion that sleep and fatigue are the reasons for most on-the-job accidents. While in some cases this may be true, its may not hold true for all cases.
The author fails to provide proofs that the accidents are caused by sleep loss. He doesn't consider the possibility that the accidents could have occured due to technical or machinery errors. For example, it is possible that Quiot is an old plant whereas Panoply is a newer plant and has the latest and safe machinery while Quiot has not maintained them well thus causing the increased accidents. Thus it doesn't neccesarily mean that sleep could be the sole reason for more accidents.
It is also possible that the number of people working at Quoit are more thus staistically showing more number of accidents. The workers at Quiot could also be careless on the job thus leading to more accidents, while people at Panoply are more carefull.This also marks another assumption the author made in the statement.
Hereby, we can see that even though the author may have some merit, he has made some hurried assumption and not taken into consideration all possible views. This thus doesn't support his argument of lessening the shift timings of workers at Quiot by one hour to prevent accidents.
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- TOEFL integrated writing Chevalier de Seingalt 78
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 9 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 433 350
No. of Characters: 2061 1500
No. of Different Words: 188 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.562 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.76 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.426 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 133 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 98 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 58 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 42 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.619 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.22 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.571 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.341 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.728 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.13 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 11 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
The vice president of Quiot Manufacturin...
^^
Line 2, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...lusion that more sleep for the workers at Quiot would lead to lesser number of ...
^^
Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ings benefited the workers at Panoply. These arguments however dont seems to me...
^^
Line 3, column 27, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
... at Panoply. These arguments however dont seems to merit the authors conclusion a...
^^^^
Line 3, column 51, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...guments however dont seems to merit the authors conclusion as the conditions at Panoply...
^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...nd Quiot may not be similar after all. The author begins with the assumption ...
^^^^
Line 6, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...our than the shift timings at Panoply. However, the author doesnt take into con...
^^
Line 6, column 23, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...ings at Panoply. However, the author doesnt take into consideration the fact that w...
^^^^^^
Line 7, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...activities after their shift finishes. For example, its possible some workers d...
^^
Line 7, column 42, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
... For example, its possible some workers dont earn enough money and thus work two job...
^^^^
Line 7, column 158, Rule ID: MAY_COULD_POSSIBLY[1]
Message: Use simply 'could'.
Suggestion: could
... unable to complete their sleep. Others could possibly be spending their time binge-watching o...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 8, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...r playing games rather than sleeping. The author just doesnt look for strong p...
^^
Line 8, column 19, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...ther than sleeping. The author just doesnt look for strong proofs. Thus it is abso...
^^^^^^
Line 8, column 50, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Thus,
...hor just doesnt look for strong proofs. Thus it is absolutely incorrect for the auth...
^^^^
Line 9, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...he workers at Quiot sleep deprivation. The author further leaps to the conclu...
^^^^
Line 11, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
..., its may not hold true for all cases. The author fails to provide proofs that ...
^^
Line 11, column 85, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
... accidents are caused by sleep loss. He doesnt consider the possibility that the accid...
^^^^^^
Line 11, column 398, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Thus,
...l thus causing the increased accidents. Thus it doesnt neccesarily mean that sleep c...
^^^^
Line 11, column 406, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...ausing the increased accidents. Thus it doesnt neccesarily mean that sleep could be th...
^^^^^^
Line 12, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...be the sole reason for more accidents. It is also possible that the number of ...
^^^^
Line 13, column 255, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: This
...ile people at Panoply are more carefull.This also marks another assumption the autho...
^^^^
Line 14, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...tion the author made in the statement. Hereby, we can see that even though the ...
^^^^
Line 15, column 168, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...ideration all possible views. This thus doesnt support his argument of lessening the s...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, however, if, look, may, so, thus, well, whereas, while, after all, for example, in some cases
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 19.6327345309 87% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 12.9520958084 85% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 11.1786427146 81% => OK
Relative clauses : 13.0 13.6137724551 95% => OK
Pronoun: 35.0 28.8173652695 121% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 46.0 55.5748502994 83% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 16.3942115768 55% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2116.0 2260.96107784 94% => OK
No of words: 425.0 441.139720559 96% => OK
Chars per words: 4.97882352941 5.12650576532 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.54043259262 4.56307096286 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.49129251761 2.78398813304 89% => OK
Unique words: 189.0 204.123752495 93% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.444705882353 0.468620217663 95% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 632.7 705.55239521 90% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 4.96107784431 222% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 7.0 8.76447105788 80% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 0.0 4.22255489022 0% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 19.7664670659 101% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 22.8473053892 92% => OK
Sentence length SD: 47.1132677703 57.8364921388 81% => OK
Chars per sentence: 105.8 119.503703932 89% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.25 23.324526521 91% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.2 5.70786347227 91% => OK
Paragraphs: 11.0 5.15768463074 213% => Less paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 23.0 5.25449101796 438% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 4.0 8.20758483034 49% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 12.0 6.88822355289 174% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.22740853882 0.218282227539 104% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0781207475551 0.0743258471296 105% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0812259607376 0.0701772020484 116% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.115875907462 0.128457276422 90% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0798594076007 0.0628817314937 127% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.7 14.3799401198 88% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 58.62 48.3550499002 121% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 12.197005988 84% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.6 12.5979740519 92% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.43 8.32208582834 89% => OK
difficult_words: 74.0 98.500998004 75% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 12.3882235529 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.1389221557 93% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Maximum six paragraphs wanted.
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.