A recently issued twenty-year study on headaches suffered by the residents of Mentia investigated the possible therapeutic effect of consuming salicylates. Salicylates are members of the same chemical family as aspirin, a medicine used to treat headaches. Although many foods are naturally rich in salicylates, food-processing companies also add salicylates to foods as preservatives. The twenty-year study found a correlation between the rise in the commercial use of salicylates and a steady decline in the average number of headaches reported by study participants. At the time when the study concluded, food-processing companies had just discovered that salicylates can also be used as flavor additives for foods, and, as a result, many companies plan to do so. Based on these study results, some health experts predict that residents of Mentia will suffer even fewer headaches in the future.
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the prediction and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the prediction.
While it may be true that consuming salicylates will reduce headaches among residents of Mentia; however, the author's argument does not make a cogent case. It is easy to understand that food companies may use more salicylates for food preservatives to reduce headaches suffering for their customers, but the author needs verifiable evidences to prove his/her recommendation.
First of all, the author mentions that twenty-year study has been shown that salicylate consumption can reduce headache for consumers, but the author does not talk about the age and gender and total number of residents in Mentia. Women may get more headaches than men or young college students may get more headaches than others because of their stress from studying. In addition, the author does not indicate the total number of residents in Mentia which can make a different perspective from the study result. If there are not that many people living in Mentia, so the study result may not be valuable enough.
Additionally, the author mentions that consuming foods with salicylate is going to help with headache relieve which can be true, but he/she does not give any information about residents’ life styles. There are other factors that can help with headache relieving too. For example, exercise and yoga, drinking water, and calm work environment can all be effective elements on not getting headaches. To strength his/her suggestion, the author needs to investigate about lifestyle of people who live in Mentia.
Last but not least, the author does not indicate if the salicylate in food preservatives is going to have a same effect as aspirin on headache or not. There might be no correlation between declining headaches and consuming foods high in Salicylate. Moreover, some people might not be willing to eat processed food. They might like to eat fresh food products most of the time, so adding more salicylate to foods may not be helpful that much.
The author can make his/her suggestions persuasive when he/she gathers information about age, gender, and total number of residents, their lifestyles, and the efficiency of Salicylate on decreasing headaches. After answering these questions, the author can make such a conclusion.
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2023-09-01 | Sophy@ | 57 | view |
2023-08-19 | Dinesh4518 | 64 | view |
2023-07-22 | jayauen | 72 | view |
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2023-07-05 | ShirishBasnet1 | 50 | view |
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 4 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 362 350
No. of Characters: 1817 1500
No. of Different Words: 179 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.362 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.019 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.692 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 124 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 89 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 77 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 57 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.625 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.146 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.688 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.369 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.369 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.148 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 111, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...among residents of Mentia; however, the authors argument does not make a cogent case. I...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, however, if, may, moreover, so, while, for example, in addition, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 19.6327345309 66% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 17.0 12.9520958084 131% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 11.1786427146 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 13.6137724551 88% => OK
Pronoun: 25.0 28.8173652695 87% => OK
Preposition: 42.0 55.5748502994 76% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 16.3942115768 55% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1869.0 2260.96107784 83% => OK
No of words: 357.0 441.139720559 81% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.23529411765 5.12650576532 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.34677393335 4.56307096286 95% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.78542662438 2.78398813304 100% => OK
Unique words: 183.0 204.123752495 90% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.512605042017 0.468620217663 109% => OK
syllable_count: 583.2 705.55239521 83% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 8.0 8.76447105788 91% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 6.0 1.67365269461 358% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 19.7664670659 81% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 22.0 22.8473053892 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 52.0226813515 57.8364921388 90% => OK
Chars per sentence: 116.8125 119.503703932 98% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.3125 23.324526521 96% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.5625 5.70786347227 97% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.25449101796 19% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.20758483034 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.67664670659 64% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.227997614708 0.218282227539 104% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0831133116406 0.0743258471296 112% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0607924263602 0.0701772020484 87% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.132314713389 0.128457276422 103% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0564081600079 0.0628817314937 90% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.4 14.3799401198 100% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 49.15 48.3550499002 102% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 12.197005988 98% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.41 12.5979740519 106% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.27 8.32208582834 99% => OK
difficult_words: 80.0 98.500998004 81% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 14.5 12.3882235529 117% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.1389221557 97% => OK
text_standard: 15.0 11.9071856287 126% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 83.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.