Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Governments should spend more money in support of the arts than in support of athletics such as state-sponsored Olympic teams. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Athletics are a vital part of every society. Athletics can affect on everybody and change the future of every country deeply. Some people believes that supporting the arts is more essential than athletics and government should spend budget to arts, while others disagree. In my view, governments should delicate money and fund to sponsor athletics at Olympic for two critical reasons.
First and foremost reason is that by supporting athletics by government’s money, young people will be encourage to exercise. In modern day, because of the lake of hope, youth abandon to do exercise and save themselves. However, when athletics at Olympic win and get gold medals, individuals will be encouraged to be one of them in next Olympic. For example, when I was child, I had dream to be famous soccer in the world. As over time, during high school, I lost my hope about anything because I did not see anything in future to push me. Surprisingly, Iranian football team won at Olympics and Ali Daii selected as the best forward in football. I remember vividly all people talked about him everywhere. As I was jealous and passion about being renowned, I started exercising to go football national team of Iran. Fortunately, I am the best player in Iran and I am so glad. As you can see, athletics can push young people to do activities.
Second, if government spend budget on athletic, they can earn so much money. In this competitive world, all countries should try to get more money to blossom sooner than others. One of the best way to earn money is sending athletics at Olympics and world cups. For instance, Iran suffered from sanction from long time because of some political problems. Unfortunately, government could not sell any oil and looked for new way to earn money to manage country. In Aten Olympic, they spent half of their budget on sport and sent about 2000 athletics there. Astonishingly, 1500 athletics won and got 1200 gold medals which was equal to 2000000 dollars. That was so mush money. They could solve all their problem which created harsh and bad condition for all people. As you can see, athletics can earn so much money when they go to world cups.
In conclusion, it is so vital for government to spend budget on athletics rather than art. Athletics can not only push young people to exercise, but also they can earn money. Governments should devote money to athletics as much as they can to help country’s future.
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| 2023-07-21 | Take | 70 | view |
| 2023-05-20 | slliland | 90 | view |
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- tpo 21drug delivery 3
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 60, Rule ID: AFFECT_EFFECT[1]
Message: Did you mean 'effect'?
Suggestion: effect
...al part of every society. Athletics can affect on everybody and change the future of ever...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 113, Rule ID: ALLOW_TO[1]
Message: Did you mean 'exercising'? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'encourage' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
Suggestion: exercising
...s money, young people will be encourage to exercise. In modern day, because of the lake of ...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, however, if, look, second, so, while, for example, for instance, in conclusion, in my view
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 15.1003584229 93% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 17.0 9.8082437276 173% => OK
Conjunction : 15.0 13.8261648746 108% => OK
Relative clauses : 8.0 11.0286738351 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 30.0 43.0788530466 70% => OK
Preposition: 57.0 52.1666666667 109% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 8.0752688172 87% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2023.0 1977.66487455 102% => OK
No of words: 420.0 407.700716846 103% => OK
Chars per words: 4.81666666667 4.8611393121 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.52701905584 4.48103885553 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.63031666528 2.67179642975 98% => OK
Unique words: 219.0 212.727598566 103% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.521428571429 0.524837075471 99% => OK
syllable_count: 618.3 618.680645161 100% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 10.0 9.59856630824 104% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 9.0 3.51792114695 256% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.94265232975 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 27.0 20.6003584229 131% => OK
Sentence length: 15.0 20.1344086022 74% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 25.5821654269 48.9658058833 52% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 74.9259259259 100.406767564 75% => OK
Words per sentence: 15.5555555556 20.6045352989 75% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.0 5.45110844103 73% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 11.8709677419 118% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.85842293907 104% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 9.0 4.88709677419 184% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.222741799541 0.236089414692 94% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0637327599111 0.076458572812 83% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0658861604846 0.0737576698707 89% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.160629324893 0.150856017488 106% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0591498252482 0.0645574589148 92% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.1 11.7677419355 77% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 64.71 58.1214874552 111% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.0 10.1575268817 79% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.38 10.9000537634 95% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.65 8.01818996416 95% => OK
difficult_words: 87.0 86.8835125448 100% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 6.0 10.002688172 60% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 8.0 10.0537634409 80% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 10.247311828 78% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.