An elementary school intends to extend the science time for children 5-11 and reduce music and art time. What is your opinion?
Since the dawn of civilization, education has played a dominant role in profoundly nurturing children to impact their future community profoundly. It is established beyond doubt well-rounded elementary education system has paramount importance in creating children's characteristics. The inevitable question that has always caused a heated debate among experts is how to elevate the quality of education in various aspects,
but academic issues. The merits and demerits of each element of this subject have been pointed out. Although some people are leading the proponent of increasing the science schedule against art classes for elementary schools, I contend that replacing music and art times with science has adverse repercussions on children's traits. The two following reasons will cogently substantiate my perspective on this issue:
The first exquisite point that should be mentioned is that other types of classes instead of science courses benefit children. It is widely accepted that art classes involve physical instruments that the students apply to practice and learn about the issues taught by the instructor. This situation can allow them to boost their personal and mental skills and enhance their reasoning thinking through different subjects. To shed light on this issue, a noteworthy study carried out by specialists has revealed those children exposed to different kinds of arts at their earlier ages have creative thinking compared to kids who are not using a specific field of art.
Another noteworthy point in corroborating my stance is that the more children are exposed to various aspects, the more they can follow up on their interests and gain a sense of satisfaction in their future life. No one can cast a shadow of a doubt that there would be possible that the number of kids in elementary school don't incline to the science fields and have broad interests in the art fields. One well-defined education system tries to provide a productive environment for its students to seek their ambitions and, based on their aptitudes, brush up their skills and earn a sense of achievement. For instance, take a personal experience on this issue. When I was going to elementary school, one of my friends was talented at playing traditional musical instruments. There was no gloomy prediction that if he could follow the music field, he would be able to be a viable composer. Unfortunately, since our school wasn't rendered music classes, he couldn't focus on his interest, and his life's path was abandoned in the art and music fields.
To sum up, according to the pros and cons of each element, the primary schools not only should not reduce the time of art and analogous classes but also should provide a balanced schedule for science and these kinds of classes. Such plans maintain a productive environment for children to be more erudite people for their community shortly. It is highly recommended to benchmark multi-functional education systems based on science and art classes to nurture more erudite people for society.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
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Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
Since the dawn of civilization, educatio...
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Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...quality of education in various aspects, but academic issues. The merits and deme...
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Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...the number of kids in elementary school dont incline to the science fields and have ...
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Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: wasn't
...mposer. Unfortunately, since our school wasnt rendered music classes, he couldnt focu...
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Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: couldn't
...school wasnt rendered music classes, he couldnt focus on his interest, and his lifes pa...
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Line 7, column 355, Rule ID: ADMIT_ENJOY_VB[1]
Message: This verb is used with the gerund form: 'recommended benchmarking'.
Suggestion: recommended benchmarking
...r their community shortly. It is highly recommended to benchmark multi-functional education systems base...
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Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, if, so, well, for instance, to sum up
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 19.0 15.1003584229 126% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 9.8082437276 102% => OK
Conjunction : 17.0 13.8261648746 123% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 11.0286738351 109% => OK
Pronoun: 44.0 43.0788530466 102% => OK
Preposition: 68.0 52.1666666667 130% => OK
Nominalization: 25.0 8.0752688172 310% => Less nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2561.0 1977.66487455 129% => OK
No of words: 489.0 407.700716846 120% => OK
Chars per words: 5.23721881391 4.8611393121 108% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.70248278971 4.48103885553 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.85286115149 2.67179642975 107% => OK
Unique words: 263.0 212.727598566 124% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.537832310838 0.524837075471 102% => OK
syllable_count: 788.4 618.680645161 127% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 9.59856630824 73% => OK
Article: 6.0 3.08781362007 194% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 20.6003584229 92% => OK
Sentence length: 25.0 20.1344086022 124% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 51.2300227938 48.9658058833 105% => OK
Chars per sentence: 134.789473684 100.406767564 134% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.7368421053 20.6045352989 125% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.89473684211 5.45110844103 53% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.53405017921 110% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 5.5376344086 108% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 11.8709677419 84% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.85842293907 104% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.88709677419 102% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.232756758202 0.236089414692 99% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0696277845824 0.076458572812 91% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0683330788102 0.0737576698707 93% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.133274308761 0.150856017488 88% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0630480955474 0.0645574589148 98% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.1 11.7677419355 137% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 46.1 58.1214874552 79% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.0 10.1575268817 128% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.41 10.9000537634 123% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.07 8.01818996416 113% => OK
difficult_words: 130.0 86.8835125448 150% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 12.0 10.002688172 120% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 10.0537634409 119% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.247311828 117% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 90.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 27.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.