People spend too much money on their pets even though there can be other good ways to spend money Give details and examples to support your response | TOEFL IELTS GMAT GRE SAT ACT PTE ESL

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People spend too much money on their pets even though there can be other good ways to spend money. Give details and examples to support your response

With the development of society, it seems that society has stabilized, and, accordingly, people have been able to spend money on other things besides food, clothes, and shelter. Many people today tend to spend money on keeping a pet. Thus, there is a controversy about whether or not people spend too much money on their pets even though there ca n be other good ways to spend money. While it is undeniable that both options have their own merits to boast, in my opinion, investing in a pet is well worth it because of relieving stress and learning responsibility.

First of all, it is beneficial for people to take care of pets because they can reduce their stress thanks to pets. Many people are under great stress from experiencing fierce competition at their work, which disturbs them from focusing and working hard. In particular, due to the economic crises, their stress is amplified. The best way for people to recover their exhausted minds and bodies is to play with pets. Watching funny shows or movies will help people improve their mental health and physical health by relieving stress, which in turn will allow them to focus solely on their work when they have to. For instance, my brother J.K. is an engineer who works for very long hours. After work, he is usually very stressed and tired from his workload. He usually plays with his dog before he goes to bed because taming pets allows him to forget about his daily stress. He is relaxed after playing with the dog and feels refreshed mentally and physically, which helps him to work more efficiently the next day. If it were not for his dog, he would have a hard time getting rid of his stress. This clearly shows that movies have more positive effects on people’s behavior than negative ones by moderating their minds and bodies from their stress.

Second, expending money on pets is worth it because people can learn responsibility. Raising pets requires many efforts such as feeding on time, walking them regularly, and cleaning the room often. People can learn responsibility through these endeavors. Improving responsibility affects positively overall social activities such as getting a job because many companies want to employ people who carry out their work with responsibility. According to a study, concerning the correlation between taking care of pets and their ability to perform, done by Yale University, people taming pets tend to complete their work with higher quality than those not doing it. This is because while petting, people have gradually learned responsibility. In addition, according to a survey, 80% of interviewers of corporations said that they usually asked if interviewees raise pets because taming pets demands people to have not only responsibility but also patience. They added that since, nowadays, many youngsters quit companies quickly, they are looking for a person who keeps these pets, a responsible person. This substantiates that investing in pets is not a waste of money.

In conclusion, taming pets has enough value for the following reasons. First, people can moderate their mental health by playing with their pets. Furthermore, recovering their minds is conducive to improving their work efficiency. Second, people can get responsibility, which allows them to get a job.

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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 270, Rule ID: WHETHER[7]
Message: Perhaps you can shorten this phrase to just 'whether'. It is correct though if you mean 'regardless of whether'.
Suggestion: whether
...pet. Thus, there is a controversy about whether or not people spend too much money on their pe...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
accordingly, also, besides, but, first, furthermore, if, look, second, so, thus, well, while, for instance, in addition, in conclusion, in particular, such as, first of all, in my opinion

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 15.1003584229 119% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 9.8082437276 82% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 13.8261648746 101% => OK
Relative clauses : 14.0 11.0286738351 127% => OK
Pronoun: 59.0 43.0788530466 137% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 73.0 52.1666666667 140% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 8.0752688172 74% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2762.0 1977.66487455 140% => OK
No of words: 543.0 407.700716846 133% => OK
Chars per words: 5.08655616943 4.8611393121 105% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.82725184711 4.48103885553 108% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.69904063802 2.67179642975 101% => OK
Unique words: 280.0 212.727598566 132% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.515653775322 0.524837075471 98% => OK
syllable_count: 826.2 618.680645161 134% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 13.0 9.59856630824 135% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 9.0 4.94265232975 182% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 28.0 20.6003584229 136% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 20.1344086022 94% => OK
Sentence length SD: 50.5470456756 48.9658058833 103% => OK
Chars per sentence: 98.6428571429 100.406767564 98% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.3928571429 20.6045352989 94% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.67857142857 5.45110844103 123% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 15.0 11.8709677419 126% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 3.85842293907 130% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.88709677419 164% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.291652965986 0.236089414692 124% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0930446210662 0.076458572812 122% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.118348929216 0.0737576698707 160% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.218791312822 0.150856017488 145% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.146090678634 0.0645574589148 226% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.2 11.7677419355 104% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 60.65 58.1214874552 104% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 10.1575268817 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.24 10.9000537634 112% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.04 8.01818996416 100% => OK
difficult_words: 119.0 86.8835125448 137% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 10.002688172 140% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 10.0537634409 95% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.247311828 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.