The number of overweight children in developed countries is increasing. Some people think this is due to problems such as the growing number of fast food outlets. Others believe that parents are to blame for not looking after their children's health.
To what extent do you agree with these views?
Scientist have found cure for many none cure disease, so today, we do not worry about some disease such as heart problems. But we have found a new problem in developed countries, increasing of overweight is our new problem.
This issue is created with some reasons, but in my opinion the most important reasons of this is fast foods and our eating habits. Nowadays, our children are preferred to eat some unhealthy foods like pizza instead of fresh foods and fruits.
There are some reasons why our children like these foods. First of all, today, people do not have much time as the past. They spend a lot of time at work or school, so they do not have enough time for cooking. Fast foods are very delicious and prepare very fast and easily. Everybody can make a sandwich in a few minutes even a 10 years old child can make a sandwich.
Secondly, we have a lot of fast foods advertisement in public media such as TV, the radio or mage. All advertising try to persuade people and children to go to fast foods and try new foods. For example, in an advertisement shows some children do not want go out because they can eat KFC.
There are many reasons else. All reasons show us why we want to eat these foods. But as we know these foods use a lot of oil, sauce, cheese, sausage and a lot of thing else. This material especially, oil is harmful for our body. Our children do not enough exercises as the past, they just sit on the table and do their homework or watch TV. Consequently, they become fatter day by day.
To sum up, we must try to eliminate junk foods from our children nourish and replace them with healthy foods like nuts or fruits. Overweight in the future causes a lot of problem for them such as blood pressure and so on.
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Sentence: Secondly, we have a lot of fast foods advertisement in public media such as TV, the radio or mage.
Error: mage Suggestion: No alternate word
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Avg. Sentence Length: 16.15 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.489 7.5
Attribute Value Ideal
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Category: Good Excellent
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No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
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Sentence Length SD: 5.489 7.5
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Number of Paragraphs: 6 5