Write an email or a letter a new penfriend in another country

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Write an email or a letter a new penfriend in another country.

Dear my friend,

I am writing to you about myself for giving information about me. As you know that it is the first communication between you and me, therefore I will attempt to explain myself as I can.

My name is Emin and I live in Azerbaijan. My hometown is a quiet well-known city over the world. It astonishs tourists with its magnificent scenery. I am 18 years old and I am a student in Baku Higher Oil School. I am trying to be a professional engineer in the future.

About my family, I would like to highlight that my father is a breadwinner in my family and he differs others with his characteristic. I closely resemble to my father. I have a response to take after my brother. I am really tired to give him a good upbringing.

My appearance is different from others in a strange way. I have short cropped hair and have quite a pointed face. Also, I have a slim figure as well as I am medium height.

In addition, I never lost my temper when I encounter a serious issue. About communicating others I can say that I have a great sense of humour. My cousin always says me that I am unassuming and modest man that he have ever met.

As I mentioned I am a student for getting a forthcoming future I should do my best. I would like to be a famous engineer over the world. As everyone wishes, I also want to have a better career.

I would deeply appreciate if you could give me a prompt reply at your most convenience.

Yours sincerely,
Emin Mamedov

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My cousin always says me that I am unassuming and modest man that he have ever met.
My cousin always told me that I am an unassuming and modest man that he has ever met.

Sentence: It astonishs tourists with its magnificent scenery.
Description: A qualifier, pre is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to astonishs and tourists

Sentence: It astonishs tourists with its magnificent scenery.
Error: astonishs Suggestion: astonish

flaws:
Avg. Sentence Length: 12 21.0

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 23 15
No. of Words: 276 350
No. of Characters: 1141 1500
No. of Different Words: 154 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.076 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.134 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.705 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 78 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 46 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 30 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 22 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 12 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.048 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.261 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.38 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.661 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.181 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 9 5