The graph below shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries
The graphy demonstrates the increase of aging population in three countries, namely, Japan Sweden and the USA during a century after 1940.
Beginning with 5%, the proportion of elderly people in Japan experienced a slightly drop by 1960. It remained level in the next 25 years or so. After that it climbed in an increasing speed and is expected to reach 10% by the year 2030 and rocket to a quarter in 2012, ending up with around 27% ranking the first anongst three countries in 2040.
Contrasting Sweden and the USA with Japan, started with just over 6% and slightly lower than 10%,respectively, the ratio of people who is aged 65 and more under went a similar trend before 1993. In the following two decades, the Swedish one rapidly frow to 20%. By contrast, the American one fell extremely slow, followed by a stble period which was exceeded by the proportion of population aged 65 and over of Sweden.It is prodicted that with a drop occoring in the Swedish one and a rise in the American one, their figues will reach around 26% and 25%, resperctively, butthey are lower than the Japanese one.
Sentence: After that it climbed in an increasing speed and is expected to reach 10 by the year 2030 and rocket to a quarter in 2012, ending up with around 27 ranking the first anongst three countries in 2040.
Error: anongst Suggestion: amongst
Sentence: In the following two decades, the Swedish one rapidly frow to 20.
Error: frow Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: By contrast, the American one fell extremely slow, followed by a stble period which was exceeded by the proportion of population aged 65 and over of Sweden.
Error: stble Suggestion: stable
Sentence: It is prodicted that with a drop occoring in the Swedish one and a rise in the American one, their figues will reach around 26 and 25, resperctively, butthey are lower than the Japanese one.
Error: prodicted Suggestion: predicted
Error: figues Suggestion: figures
Error: resperctively Suggestion: respectively
Error: occoring Suggestion: ?
Error: butthey Suggestion: ?
flaws:
No. of Spelling Errors: 8 2
Number of Paragraphs: 3 4
Better to put one more paragraph for conclusion.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 7.0 out of 9
Category: Very Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 8 2
No. of Sentences: 8 9
No. of Words: 195 200
No. of Characters: 873 900
No. of Different Words: 116 100
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.737 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.477 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.547 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 56 60
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 41 50
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 28 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 16 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 24.375 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.331 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.25 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.404 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.61 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.032 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 3 4