Agree or disagree?
Successful person try new things and take risks rather than only doing what they already doing what they already know to do well.
Nowadays, it is commonly accepted that taking adventurous provides situations for the people to be more successful. Contrary to this popular belief, there are still those who argue that being successful depends on doing their strengths and usual activities rather than experience new things. I, to a great extent, agree with the view point of the first group. Taking risk can assist people to promote and have especial chance for being successful. In the following paragraphs, I will explicate my reasons in details to buttress my position toward the argument.
First and foremost, I strongly believe that when the person makes this chance for himself to experience new situation, the new opportunity would happen for him. For instance, my father moved to the city from his hometown whereas his brother did not. My father started to study in the university and after that he found an eligible occupation and now after all that years he has comfortable life. While his brother did not attend the university and worked on his father's farms and now he has not really suitable life as my father. Hence, my father by facing to new situation creates significant success for himself in his life.
The other substantial fact that should be taken under consideration is that successful businessmen took risk in their investment decisions. Since the past years, investment policies have close relation with having ability to risk. As an example, when the person decide purchasing shares, if he has risk-reverse esprit, he would not be really successful. He is always worry about the price volatility and price trend, then, he would buy and sell the shares in inappropriate time. On the contrast, if he decide aggressively and want to take some risks instead, he would have tremendous profit latter. In fact, taking risk should be rationally and base on enough information, on the other hand, it would be devastating and destructive the person's life completely.
The last but not the list, taking adventurous makes the person to behave and act more precisely and meticulously. This accuracy in doing the activities enhance the person's performance. Because the fear of facing problems or defeats motivates the person to try the best. Hence, this sense leads to a well-done job.
To recapitulate briefly, based on aforementioned reasons I can draw this conclusion that taking risk can play crucial role in someone's success.
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when the person decide purchasing shares
when the person decides to purchase shares
if he decide aggressively and want to take some risks
if he decides aggressively and wants to take some risks
taking adventurous makes the person
taking adventures makes the person
This accuracy in doing the activities enhance the person's performance
This accuracy ... enhances the person's performance
taking risk can play crucial role in someone's success.
taking risk can play a crucial role in someone's success.
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
Double check grammar & spelling issues after essay writing.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 21 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 395 350
No. of Characters: 1972 1500
No. of Different Words: 221 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.458 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.992 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.714 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 140 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 97 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 73 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 50 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.81 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.27 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.667 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.287 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.499 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.142 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5