why do you think people go to university?
“Like Steve Jobs and Bill Gates I do not want to go to university in future so that I will be as rich as them,” said my little brother. In fact, he thinks what has brought them immense wealth is their avoidance of pursueing education. He, howevere, is wrong. Knowledge is a priceless possession which can help people to acquire a well-paid job , to gain new experience and to have interest.
Since the job market is competitive in which even low positions attract hundreds of candidates to apply for it, high education can assures one a decent job. How can we imagine a graduate majoring in electrical engineering has to be a vender in the street! So, education is necessary for those who look for a worthwhile career.
Another reason why education is considered a high value is the wide experiences provided by it. Entering a college will provide one with the opportunity to enhance not only one’s communication ability, but also one’s independency ability. The first time I started studing at university, it seemed to be too strange to deal with all kinds of people whom I had never known before or to overcome my difficulties alone. Little by little, Cooprating with others and making a lot of friends, I could stand on my own feet. How? Education gave me a chance to become mature enough in defferent aspects of life.
Last, but not the least, people put a high value on education because it is innately attractive. According to Dr.Shariatee, an Iranian prominent writer, knowledge makes our life rich and colourful. Whenever one conquer a difficult mathematical problem, it brings him happiness and expand his eyesight. So, let’s immerse ourselves in learning to enjoy our life.
I hope one day there will be no one blaming himself by saying ,” If I were high-educated , I would have a better life.” Moreovere, I hope my little brother soon find out that Steve Jobs and Bill Gates are well-to-do in spite of the fact that they are not high-educated, not because of it.
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| 2022-10-24 | RutvikNelluri | 80 | view |
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Sentence: Since the job market is competitive in which even low positions attract hundreds of candidates to apply for it, high education can assures one a decent job.
Description: A modal auxillary is not usually followed by a verb, present tense, 3rd person singular
Suggestion: Refer to can and assures
Whenever one conquer
Whenever one conquers
it brings him happiness and expand his eyesight
it brings him happiness and expands his eyesight
Sentence: In fact, he thinks what has brought them immense wealth is their avoidance of pursueing education.
Error: pursueing Suggestion: pursuing
Sentence: He, howevere, is wrong.
Error: howevere Suggestion: however
Sentence: Entering a college will provide one with the opportunity to enhance not only one's communication ability, but also one's independency ability.
Error: independency Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: The first time I started studing at university, it seemed to be too strange to deal with all kinds of people whom I had never known before or to overcome my difficulties alone.
Error: studing Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: Education gave me a chance to become mature enough in defferent aspects of life.
Error: defferent Suggestion: different
Sentence: According to Dr.Shariatee, an Iranian prominent writer, knowledge makes our life rich and colourful.
Error: colourful Suggestion: colorful
Sentence: Moreovere, I hope my little brother soon find out that Steve Jobs and Bill Gates are well-to-do in spite of the fact that they are not high-educated, not because of it.
Error: Moreovere Suggestion: Moreover
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 24 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 7 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 343 350
No. of Characters: 1580 1500
No. of Different Words: 210 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.304 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.606 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.754 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 112 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 83 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 56 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 44 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.053 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.192 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.474 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.272 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.506 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.087 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5