The following appeared in a memo from the mayor of the town of Hopewell.
"Two years ago, the town of Ocean View built a new municipal golf course and resort hotel. During the past two years, tourism in Ocean View has increased, new businesses have opened there, and Ocean View's tax revenues have risen by 30 percent. The best way to improve Hopewell's economy, and generate additional tax revenues, is to build a golf course and resort hotel similar to those in Ocean View."
In this memo, the mayor of the Hopewell recommends that building a golf course and resort hotel like the one established in Ocean View would be beneficial for economy of Hopewell and for gaining additional tax revenues. To support this recommendation he points out that by establishing these two facilities and structures in the town of Ocean View since two years ago the tourism in that city has soured up and also new businesses have started working there. Moreover he cites that Ocean View's tax revenues have risen by 30 percent during the recent two years. A close examination of these evidence reveals that it lends little credible support to this argument for several respects.
First, the increase in the number of tourism might be related to other regional and historical characteristics of the city of Ocean View. And the author must account for other propitious grounds such as moderate climate and awesome monuments of this city to substantiate this claim with dear evidence.
Second, building these amenities in Ocean View can not be the reason of developing enterprises in this city. Since, there might be other reasons for this success. For example, the mayor of this town might have adopted other effective economic measures such as an efficient export and import system that have consequently contributed to developing powerful businesses. And without ruling out this possibility and other probable factor, the author provides scant evidence to prove this claim.
Third, even if the rise in tourism’s number and constructing new corporations are merely the effects of building the new municipal golf course and resort hotel in Ocean View, these beneficial achievements in economy of this city can not be contributed to Hopewell city. There might be social and financial restrictions in Hopewell city that hinder developing these facilities there. Or even there is the possibility of conflicting tastes and interest among the people of Hopewell that will not utilize these facilities.
Fourth, the 30 percent rise of Ocean View's tax revenues would not be an authentic reasoning for building the same buildings in Hopewell city. For, Ocean View's populace adherence to social and civil rules to pay their taxes or other reasons which persuade them to do so can not be a cogent reason to conclude that Hopewell’s residents would pay taxes too.
In sum, the memo fails to convince me that establishing the two constructions would be economically beneficial for Hopewell and would make additional tax revenues. To bolster this argument the author must consider the other possible factors influencing the rise in the number of tourism and developing new businesses in Ocean View. To better assess the strength of this recommendation I need more information about the demographic profile of Hopewell’s residents and their desires and thinking. It would also be helpful to obtain information about future consequences of building these constructions in Hopewell city.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 478 350
No. of Characters: 2465 1500
No. of Different Words: 215 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.676 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.157 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.81 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 173 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 135 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 103 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 61 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 25.158 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.975 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.474 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.331 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.582 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.093 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5