A recently issued twenty-year study on headaches suffered by the residents of Mentia investigated the possible therapeutic effect of consuming salicylates. Salicylates are members of the same chemical family as aspirin, a medicine used to treat headaches. Although many foods are naturally rich in salicylates, food-processing companies also add salicylates to foods as preservatives. The twenty-year study found a correlation between the rise in the commercial use of salicylates and a steady decline in the average number of headaches reported by study participants. At the time when the study concluded, food-processing companies had just discovered that salicylates can also be used as flavor additives for foods, and, as a result, many companies plan to do so. Based on these study results, some health experts predict that residents of Mentia will suffer even fewer headaches in the future.
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the prediction and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the prediction
Based on an unclear twenty-year study on headache symptoms of residents of Mentia, the writer of the statement above negatively links the commercial use of salicylates with the headaches suffered by the people of Mentia. The writer’s view is aligned with some of the health experts who predict that commercially using more salicylates will result in a decline on the headaches of residents of Mentia. There are some vital questions needed to be addressed in order for the statement to be reasonable.
First and foremost, the writer needs to answer that whether the source of the headaches had been diminished in this twenty-year study or it was the salicylates that makes the people not to have so much headaches. Protracted headache is an alarm that something in environment is not right, it is so much probable that government or people had found the source of the headaches and lessened its effects.
Secondly, even If the source of headaches was still intact, the writer needs to answer that whether other painkiller components were used by people of the Mentia beside the salicylate or not. It is possible that people are introduced with another family of painkillers and are using them, then the decrease of the headaches and increase of using salicylates in processed food might just be a coincidence. Moreover, what category of residents are studied? It is possible that salicylate only effects certain hormones in females that ended in not having a headache, while it does not have effects on men of the society. In that case it is not reasonable that extend the result to the whole society. Answering these questions direct the reader to evaluate the study which the whole prediction is based on.
Thirdly, the writer needs to answer that how much of the people provide their foods from food processing companies. People might provide their food from raw foods and not the processed food from such companies. If this is the case, the prediction is shakable and the increase of the using salicylate in processed food would not led to decrease of headaches as people do not use the processed foods.
Furthermore, the writer should scientifically answer that how much of the salicylate can be absorbed by the body in each meal. It is a possibility that even with the existence of salicylates in foods of people, their bodies absorb a certain amount and cannot take more dosage no matter how much more it is added with salicylate.
In the final analysis, the writer’s predication cannot taken to be correct because, as it is mentioned in the body paragraphs, there are vital questions that need to be answered. The prediction can only be accepted if answers to those questions are provided.
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argument 1 -- not OK. you guess: Protracted headache is an alarm that something in environment is not right.
suggested:
Salicylates may not have the same effect as aspirin in treating headaches although they are of the same chemical family.
argument 2 -- OK
argument 3 -- better way:
The author does not inform us what fraction of foods consumed by citizens of Mentia contains salicylates, and how many of the citizens prefer such kind of foods.
argument 4 -- need to argue against the conclusion: Based on these study results, some health experts predict that residents of Mentia will suffer even fewer headaches in the future.
suggested:
Granted that salicylates are effective in treating headaches, we cannot hastily infer that they would also be effective in preventing headaches.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 455 350
No. of Characters: 2204 1500
No. of Different Words: 189 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.619 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.844 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.686 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 157 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 113 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 90 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 63 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 25.278 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.242 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.556 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.335 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.607 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.116 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5