Some people believe that children’s leisure activities must be educational, otherwise they are a complete waste of time. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your experience

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Some people believe that children’s leisure activities must be educational, otherwise they are a complete waste of time. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your experience

Abraham Lincoln, 16th president of the United State of America requested from his child’s class teacher to develop his child’s attitudes to behave as a good member in the society than without focusing only the subject matters. By that letter, he gave an important message to the entire world that the purpose of the education should have to focus to build up a constructive individuals to the society rather than the scholar. In contract, parents who are in the presents competitive society pay attention only for educational achievements. However I am of the view that it is very difficult to build up constructive individuals without teaching values of humanities, appreciating the others, social responsibilities and high level entertainment.

Although in school curriculum mostly focused on the subject related matter, parents send children to tuition class which are becoming very popular among the society without satisfying with the school education system. Hence, at present, there is no any opportunity to majority of the children to enjoy their leisure time as they wish even for paying with the peers, watching TV etc. Furthermore they have scheduled their children’s leisure time for further activities related to education. Ultimately, this stressful life has been influenced to mental development of the children.

Leisure time is one of the best opportunity to develop various type of qualities, such as creativity, build up friendships, to respect to other and others opinions, to obey, tolerate, as well as the improve the awareness of the social and cultural values. Finally, well construct individual with good educational background will be the outputs who will contribute develop the integrity of the society while giving contribution to the development of the country.

In sum up, there is no argument, scholars are need any kind of society but should have to be constructive. If not it will be increased the incidents which used knowledge for illegal matter such as illegal money printing. In this context, parents have a high responsibility to gift individual to the society with knowledge, skills and positive attitudes.

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such as creativity, build up friendships, to respect to other and others opinions, to obey, tolerate, as well as the improve the awareness of the social and cultural values
Description: can you re-write this sentence?

who will contribute develop the integrity of the society
who will contribute to develop the integrity of the society

scholars are need any kind of society
scholars are needed in any kind of society

it will be increased the incidents
it will increase the incidents

flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.5 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 12 15
No. of Words: 339 350
No. of Characters: 1771 1500
No. of Different Words: 186 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.291 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.224 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.909 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 142 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 118 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 70 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 52 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 28.25 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.051 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.5 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.366 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.606 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.08 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5