43 The following appeared in a memorandum written by the chairperson of the West Egg Town Council.
"Two years ago, consultants predicted that West Egg's landfill, which is used for garbage disposal, would be completely filled within five years. During the past two years, however, the town's residents have been recycling twice as much material as they did in previous years. Next month the amount of recycled material—which includes paper, plastic, and metal—should further increase, since charges for pickup of other household garbage will double. Furthermore, over 90 percent of the respondents to a recent survey said that they would do more recycling in the future. Because of our town's strong commitment to recycling, the available space in our landfill should last for considerably longer than predicted."
In this memo, the chairperson of the West Egg Town Council asserts that the available space of landfill would last for longer than predicted five years, for the reasons that the residents have recycled more materials during the past two years, as well as the charges for other garbage will double in the next mouth. Although this argument seems plausible at the first glance, a close scrutiny reveals its untenability.
In the first place, the author claims that during past two years, recycled materials are as twice as they did in previous years. The author neglects a strong possibility that more recycling mateirals are due to a larger amount of garbage, which means it is probable that more other garbage might be landfilled. If the amount of other garbage exceeds the predicted, the landfill would be filled much faster than predicted.
Secondly, even though the charge of other household garbage will double, it may attribute little to decrease the speed of filling the landfill. On the one hand, since whether the other household garbage is the major source of other garbage is unknown, the author cannot guarantee the amount of other garbage would decrease. If the other factory garbage is the most important part of other garbage, charging more money for other household garbage is useless to reduce the other garbage. On the other hand, the council may face more potential problems if they charge more money for other household garbage. Perhaps the residents do not care the more charge of garbage so that the amount of recycled materials would not increase. Or perhaps, to avoid expansive garbage charge, some residents put the other garbage in the recycled garbage bins. The council would hire workers to pick out these garbage. Thus charging more money for household garbage is unjustifiable.
Finally, the statistics of recent survey is vague and unconvincing. The survey cannot be seen as representative if most respondents are the people who are more willing to protect environment. Furthermore, even assume those repondents are representative, whether they would do more recycling is unknown. Maybe they have recycled garbage as much as they can, it is hard for them to recycle more. Hence this survey cannot predict that most residents would recycle more garbage in the future.
In conclusion, the author fails to prove that the available space of landfill would last for a longer time, at least bases on this memo. To make the argument more persuasive, the chairperson should provide more information about the amount of garbage landfilled during the past two years. More statistics about the ratio of other household garbage to other garbage and specific condition of recycled garbage is also appreciated.
- 20 The following is a memorandum from the business manager of a television station."Over the past year, our late-night news program has devoted increased time to national news and less time to weather and local news. During this time period, most of the c 70
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- 17 The following appeared in a memorandum from the manager of WWAC radio station."To reverse a decline in listener numbers, our owners have decided that WWAC must change from its current rock-music format. The decline has occurred despite population growt 70
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Sentence: The author neglects a strong possibility that more recycling mateirals are due to a larger amount of garbage, which means it is probable that more other garbage might be landfilled.
Error: landfilled Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: mateirals Suggestion: materials
Sentence: Furthermore, even assume those repondents are representative, whether they would do more recycling is unknown.
Error: repondents Suggestion: respondents
Sentence: To make the argument more persuasive, the chairperson should provide more information about the amount of garbage landfilled during the past two years.
Error: landfilled Suggestion: No alternate word
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argument 1 -- your example: The author neglects a strong possibility that more recycling mateirals are due to a larger amount of garbage. Not exactly. People still can pick up more recycling materials with the same amount of garbage.
suggested:
the argument overlooks the strong possibility that the recycling habits of West Egg residents are not the only factor affecting how quickly the landfill will reach capacity. Other such factors might include population and demographic shifts, the habits of people from outside West Egg whose trash also feeds the landfill, and the availability of altemative disposal methods such as burning. Thus regardless of the recycling efforts of West Egg residents the landfill might nevertheless reach full capacity by the date originally forecast.
argument 2 -- OK
argument 3 -- OK
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Attribute Value Ideal
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Category: Good Excellent
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No. of Spelling Errors: 4 2
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No. of Words: 446 350
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Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.387 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.573 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.163 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5