Please help me, write your comments about my essay.
Can success be disastrous? A question that no one questions when they try to reach success. Success is defined as money, knowledge, power, authority... etc. When people try to reach success they want one of those things and maybe all of them, but they never question what will happen through their journey and when they gain what they want what will they lose in return.
Business men is a great example for the miserable life that sometimes success may cause. Everyone wishes to be rich and powerful; and for some people their greed for success to do unpleasant things unconsciously. Through the journey of trying to rich and powerful they tend to lose some important things by time, and they don't notice that except when they reach what they wanted. We hear a lot about business men who lately got divorced and their kids turned from loving them to hating them and a lot of lovely things they had in the past but it's all gone after succeeding. You never imagine that you may lose your favorite people to reach success, but unfortunately when we gain what we want that's the time when we notices what we lost.
As an another example Dr. Faustus. Dr. Faustus is a novel about a man in the Renaissance age who didn't like being limited. Even though he reached the highest level in nearly everything his greed for more was beyond imagination. He thought that necromancy would give him the unlimited life but when Dr. Faustus made the deal with the devil and became a Magician his found that his life became more limited. He couldn't get married because he was damned, he can't bring dead people to life again, and everything Mephistopheles his '' devil servant'' told him were things he knew before. Dr. Faustus huger for the unlimited life made him blind to see the signs that appeared for him before signing that contract.
Indeed success isn't a bad thing, but before starting our journey for success we need to think what will we lose through this journey and is it worth it?
when we notices what we lost.
when we notice what we lost.
Sentence: As an another example Dr. Faustus.
Description: An article is not usually followed by a determiner/pronoun, singular
Suggestion: Refer to an and another
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 355 350
No. of Characters: 1598 1500
No. of Different Words: 183 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.341 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.501 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.225 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 102 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 68 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 32 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 19 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.188 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 12.68 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.375 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.318 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.525 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.206 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5