Choose one of the following transportation vehicles and explain why
you think it has changed people’s lives.
• automobiles
• bicycles
• airplanes
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Nowadays the world differed than before due to the human creativity and inventions. Technology entered our daily life and made it easier. One of these innovations was the transportation vehicles. In the past the people found difficulties in moving from one place to another, but now all the grace refers to the globalization that contribute in removing any obstacles in transforming from one city to another. The variety of these vehicles confused the human which one he should choose, but with respect to me the airplane is the favorite one.
First of all, airplane is effective vehicle that transform the passenger from one town to another in less time. In the past, before the invention of the any of these vehicles the people used the animals to move to other place, they took about one week to arrive to their destination plus to the great efforts. While the airplane solved this problem, it’s the faster vehicle comparing with other. For example, I need to travel to Dubai to finish my business here and I just have two days to return back to London, so I boarded the airplane and the trip took about three hours only with less effort.
Second, it’s nice to try the feeling of the birds when they fly. From my childhood I dreamed to attempt this sense. Now, airplane made my dream true. Traveling became more enjoyable and interesting, we can see the how much world is beautiful from the above especially in the night, all the places were illuminating like the diamond.
Finally, the good services and the all the entertainment instrument that the airplanes provided to their passenger attracted all the people use this vehicles rather than anyone. For instance, in my way to the French, I got boring due to the long time in waiting before we arrived to this city plus to the starvation, but the excellent services from food to the amusement devices like TV and net for listening music made the trip easier.
To sum up, the life became much restful and relaxing after the human innovations and the most efficient thing is transportation vehicle. Airplanes benefited our life in many way and abbreviated all efforts.
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Sentence: Finally, the good services and the all the entertainment instrument that the airplanes provided to their passenger attracted all the people use this vehicles rather than anyone.
Description: The token the is not usually followed by a determiner/pronoun, pre-quantifier
Suggestion: Refer to the and all
Description: A determiner/pronoun, singular is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to this and vehicles
Sentence: For instance, in my way to the French, I got boring due to the long time in waiting before we arrived to this city plus to the starvation, but the excellent services from food to the amusement devices like TV and net for listening music made the trip easier.
Description: The fragment got boring is rare
airplane is effective vehicle that transform the passenger from
airplane is an effective vehicle that transforms the passenger from
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
Read a good grammar book.
Write sentences smoothly and Don't forget punctuation marks.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 22 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 366 350
No. of Characters: 1718 1500
No. of Different Words: 194 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.374 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.694 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.56 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 110 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 82 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 58 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 38 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.529 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 12.664 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.529 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.305 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.545 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.085 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5