National services such as military or community service are the promising services that are very important to run a country smoothly as well as maintaining its citizen, their demands etc. in a balanced way. So, it is an extra help for a country if young adults take part in those services for betterment of the nation e.g. its human resource management as well as trainig up future leaders on politics, society and economics.
First of all, engagment of those services not only help to propser the nation but also improve physical and mental health of young adults which help them to be a healthy and balanced studnet, citizen in future. Doing exercise and some elementary warm up, understanding military techinques for self prtoection etc. can be learned if they are in army services. This type of physical exercises help them to be healthy both in mentally and physically. Engaging community service will also refresh their mind and body.
When performing those services, they learn some sorts of social, political and economical conditions about the country that helps them to be a future politician or economist or socialist. This is because they get inspiration and can fix their aim of life at the time of their involvement on those services. As for example, South Korean government has the compulsory rule that every korean male citizen will be engaged in their national military service for two years at the time of their undergraduate study. This servie is building a back up power for South Korean military which will help them to utilize them at any crucial moment i.e. attack from North Korea. Furthermore, that service is also focusing some community servies. As a result, those korean young adults are very focused and they are better than in terms of social, political and economic knowledge those who did not take part in the services yet.
In addition, country can use those young adult in day to day community services. For example, in South Korea, high school boys and girls are bound to perfom at least 30 minutes duty on traffic control before their school time in the morning by rotation. Thus a country can be benifitted from its young adult if they participate in some sorts of national services.
A good, logical and focused plan for national services designed for the young adult determined by the country is both way benificial. So, I think taking part in national services will make benefit for young adults as well as the country.
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Sentence: So, it is an extra help for a country if young adults take part in those services for betterment of the nation e.g. its human resource management as well as trainig up future leaders on politics, society and economics.
Error: trainig Suggestion: training
Sentence: First of all, engagment of those services not only help to propser the nation but also improve physical and mental health of young adults which help them to be a healthy and balanced studnet, citizen in future.
Error: engagment Suggestion: engagement
Error: propser Suggestion: proper
Error: studnet Suggestion: student
Sentence: Doing exercise and some elementary warm up, understanding military techinques for self prtoection etc. can be learned if they are in army services.
Error: prtoection Suggestion: protection
Error: techinques Suggestion: techniques
Sentence: Furthermore, that service is also focusing some community servies.
Error: servies Suggestion: services
Sentence: For example, in South Korea, high school boys and girls are bound to perfom at least 30 minutes duty on traffic control before their school time in the morning by rotation.
Error: perfom Suggestion: perform
Sentence: Thus a country can be benifitted from its young adult if they participate in some sorts of national services.
Error: benifitted Suggestion: benefitted
Sentence: A good, logical and focused plan for national services designed for the young adult determined by the country is both way benificial.
Error: benificial Suggestion: beneficial
flaws:
No. of Spelling Errors: 10 2
Need more sentence varieties.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 24 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 10 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 417 350
No. of Characters: 2005 1500
No. of Different Words: 201 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.519 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.808 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.494 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 140 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 113 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 73 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 36 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 24.529 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.082 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.706 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.343 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.57 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.126 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5