Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Television advertising directed toward young children (aged two to five) should not be allowed. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
The debate about the significant importance of media and advertisement on people’s attitude has been continuing for a long time. Some people restrict their children from the advertisements, while others do not care about this issue. As far as I am concerned, it is necessary to be careful about the television advertising directed toward children. I would give the following reasons to support my idea.
The first and important reason why I believe that we should plan a serious decision about watching the advertisement is that, they have several harmful effects on children’s mind. Most of them change the truth according their benefits, and teach the bad habits to children. The perfect illustration is provided by cigarette. They spread the habit of smoking among young children by advertising the certain brand of They spread the habit of smoking among young children by advertising the certain brand of cigarette. For instance, a famous actor who is hero for children advertises it and attracts them in this way. They do not say about the bad effects of cigarette, since their benefits is in sale these goods, and attract the children in each way which can.
The second reason is that, some advertisements have detrimental effects on children’s health. Everyday, we are seeing a lot of advertisements about junk foods such as crisps, chocolates, and ice creams daily. They employ several smart ways to attract children. Children are drawn to them and force parents to buy them. The researches have proved that, junk foods cause a great deal of problems to children’s health. It is necessary to prevent children to eat these foods; therefore, we should not allow these advertisements affect on children’s diet.
In conclusion, I admire the view that we should control children about watching advertisement directed toward them. Considering the arguments presented above, it can be conclude that some advertisements are going to change children’s attitude; therefore, we should be careful about this issue and do not allow our children be victims of media.
Sentence: They spread the habit of smoking among young children by advertising the certain brand of They spread the habit of smoking among young children by advertising the certain brand of cigarette.
Description: The token of is not usually followed by a pronoun, personal, nominative, not 3rd person singular
Suggestion: Refer to of and They
flaws:
No. of Different Words: 167 200
Need to remove repetitive words.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 23 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 334 350
No. of Characters: 1688 1500
No. of Different Words: 167 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.275 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.054 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.835 2.4
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No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 69 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 40 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.556 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.733 7.5
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Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.508 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.165 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5