Do you agree or disagree wıth the followıng statement?Only people who earn a lot of money are successful.Use spesıfıc reasons and examples to support your answer.

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Do you agree or disagree wıth the followıng statement?
Only people who earn a lot of money are successful.
Use spesıfıc reasons and examples to support your answer.

Money is one of the most important needs to continue people's lives.People have to earn money to live comfortably and peacefully.Success of people can not measure by earning a lot of or less money.I strongly disagree that only people who earn a lot of money are successful.

First of all,success of people has nothing to do with a lot of money.Some people who earn less money can be successful in their business or own life.For instance,one of the best examples of this situation is teachers.Some teachers earn less money than engineers and doctors.However,they educate their students to admit many universities or they study their students to pass the exams.Also,the teachers provide to expand the their students' points of view to accomplish their students' lives.If the students can be successful these conditions,this situation is the success of the teachers.Clearly,although the teachers earn less money,they show that earning a lot of money does not mean success.

Some people think that if the people are successful,they make much money.They also say that Bill Gates and Martin Zuckerberg are accomplished because they make much money.Bill Gates and Martin Zuckerberg make a lot of money through thier own success.If they are not accomplished,they can not make a lot of money.

In brief,when everything is taken into consideration,we see that the success of the people can not assess with a lot of money.Teachers are the one of the best examples to evaluate this situation correctly.

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2012-09-20 stragox 50 view
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Sentence: First of all,success of people has nothing to do with a lot of money.Some people who earn less money can be successful in their business or own life.For instance,one of the best examples of this situation is teachers.Some teachers earn less money than engineers and doctors.However,they educate their students to admit many universities or they study their students to pass the exams.Also,the teachers provide to expand the their students' points of view to accomplish their students' lives.If the
Description: The token is is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to is and teachers
Description: The token the is not usually followed by a determiner, possessive
Suggestion: Refer to the and their

Sentence: students can be successful these conditions,this situation is the success of the teachers.Clearly,although the teachers earn less money,they show that earning a lot of money does not mean success.
Description: An adjective is not usually followed by a determiner/pronoun, plural
Suggestion: Refer to successful and these

flaws:
No. of Words: 264 350
No. of Characters: 1218 1500
No. of Different Words: 115 200

Try to write the essay with more words.

Try this essay structure:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1
para 3: reason 2
para 4: reason 3 (optional)
para 5: conclusion

Leave a blank space after every punctuation mark.

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 2.5 out of 6
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 5 15
No. of Words: 264 350
No. of Characters: 1218 1500
No. of Different Words: 115 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.031 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.614 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.464 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 72 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 59 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 42 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 21 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 32.8 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 19.487 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.6 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.625 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.923 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.296 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5