Do you think that TV programs, movies ans video games influence young people's behaviour?
Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.
I think that young people's behavior is influenced by television programs, movies and video games to a significant extend. In this case I mean school kids by young people, since 'young people' is a relative term which is quite open for interpretation.
School kids are in a period of their life in which they learn a lot from their environment and develop their personality. In this period they are open to external influences and try to imitate cool things they see or experience. Today's youth spend significantly more time watching television shows or playing video games than their ancestors. Since they spend a lot of their time with such things, it is imperative that they get their inspirations and ideas for their personality development from those television programs or computer games.
The impact of television shows and video games becomes apparent when one looks at today's school kids in the bus to the school. Most of the boys have beggy pants, hats that are delibarately tilted and t-shirts that are two sizes larger than the kid wearing it. They all imitate the hip-hop music singers which they are so fond of and see on MTV every day. The identical appereance of today's school children is a good example of the influence which television shows have on the young people.
Television shows and video games not only influence young people's appereance but also their physical behavior. Since the kids grow up spending a significant amount of their time watching TV and playing video games at home and not doing any sports outside, they get used to be indoors. Today's kids are not as physically active as their ancestors and have therefore more health issues due to the lack of physical activities.
In summary, I believe that television shows and video games have a significant impact on today's children. Today's children play less games with friends on the street, wear baggy clothes as the stars on MTV and have health issues due to the hours spent in front of the television.
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Sentence: Today's youth spend significantly more time watching television shows or playing video games than their ancestors.
Description: The fragment youth spend significantly is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace spend with verb, present tense, 3rd person singular
Sentence: Most of the boys have beggy pants, hats that are delibarately tilted and t-shirts that are two sizes larger than the kid wearing it.
Error: delibarately Suggestion: deliberately
Error: beggy Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: The identical appereance of today's school children is a good example of the influence which television shows have on the young people.
Error: appereance Suggestion: appearance
Sentence: Television shows and video games not only influence young people's appereance but also their physical behavior.
Error: appereance Suggestion: appearance
flaws:
No. of Different Words: 162 200
Sentence Length SD: 5.327 7.5
Better to talk generally about 'young people', not 'school kids'.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 21 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 4 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 339 350
No. of Characters: 1630 1500
No. of Different Words: 162 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.291 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.808 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.536 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 100 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 74 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 52 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 33 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.6 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.327 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.4 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.372 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.608 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.084 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5