The extinction of the Mammoths
("The complete guide to the TOEFL Test" Page 594, Integrated writing task)
The main point of both the article and the lecture is the extinction of the mammoths and which were the reasons why that happened.
The author expose the three current possible explanations, the first is the one that says that the human beings hunted all the specimens until their extinction. The second theory is that a climatic change ended with the lands where they feed and turn them into deserts. Finally, the third explanation would be that the humans spread a disease that the mammoths were not immune.
The professor at the lecture gives reasons why none of the theories stated at the article could be true. For example, she thinks that the mammoths were too dangerous and tough to be hunted to extinction; in addition, humans didn’t need too much meat or fur to kill them all. The woman believes that there are not enough evidences to validate the second theory. Finally, she says that the mammoths had survived to more radical climatic changes, and that is neither a good explanation to the extinction of these creatures. At the end, the professor says that the actual cause of the extinction could be a combination of the three theories or maybe other different theory that has not been discovered yet.
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Sentence: The author expose the three current possible explanations, the first is the one that says that the human beings hunted all the specimens until their extinction.
Description: The fragment author expose the is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace expose with verb, past tense
Sentence: Finally, she says that the mammoths had survived to more radical climatic changes, and that is neither a good explanation to the extinction of these creatures.
Description: The word neither is not usually used as an adverb
Suggestion: Refer to neither
flaws:
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.667 0.12 (Check out online what is Discourse Markers and how to remove them)
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 9 15
No. of Words: 211 350
No. of Characters: 984 1500
No. of Different Words: 113 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.811 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.664 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.356 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 65 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 46 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 31 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 17 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.444 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.871 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.667 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.414 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.58 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.1 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 3 5