Is money important in our lives?
Money is important object in our lives,because we all depend on money for each objects in our lives.Some people say that saving money is better while others prefer to spend money on experience such as travelling,shopping,buying houses,... In my view spending money is better for two reasons as I will explain later.
First, with spending money on experience for example vacation we can visit new palaces that we never been there before and we can find a lot of new friends so we can have a lot of joy and gain many new experiences.For example last year I visited Venice it was such a fun for me I never been there so the adventure was very fantastic and amazing for me, old buildings and other fascinating places was such a joy and fun! Beside I found a nice friend there we been with each other all the time and we talked a lot about their city,their customs,their foods and extra! And I also talked about my hometown for her.After one year we still are in contact with emails and she want to come to America later for visiting me !If I didn't spend money I couldn't have such a great experience and such a great friend!! I am really happy for my decision!
Second, I believe that we should enjoy our lives when we are still young because actually we don't know when we die! Every day we face a lot of dangerous things! so we should spend our money when we are alive! for example my uncle was very rich he had a huge account in bank but he was very stingy and he never spent his money for traveling,shopping,...each time that we told why you don’t spend your money he told us that I am still young I have a lot of time remaining!! unfortunately he died on an accident so all his money ... to his children and he never had amazing and enjoyable life!!but if he spent his money in better way before dying his life was really different!After my uncles dead I decided to not repeat what he did! And spend my money for my self not just saving them at bank! So after my dead others can use it!
In conclusion, I prefer spending money because I think this is the only way that we can have enjoyable and amazing lives. Nevertheless, we never know when we are dying so why just saving money and don't spend it for ourselves!!!
Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
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2013-11-21 | Setare1362 | 40 | view |
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Sentence: Money is important object in our lives,because we all depend on money for each objects in our lives.Some people say that saving money is better while others prefer to spend money on experience such as travelling,shopping,buying houses,... In my view spending money is better for two reasons as I will explain later.
Description: A determiner/pronoun, singular is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to each and objects
Sentence: And I also talked about my hometown for her.After one year we still are in contact with emails and she want to come to America later for visiting me If I didn't spend money I couldn't have such a great experience and such a great friend
Description: The fragment she want to is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace want with verb, past tense
Sentence: money in better way before dying his life was really differentAfter my uncles dead I decided to not repeat what he did
Description: The token to is not usually followed by a negator
Suggestion: Refer to to and not
flaws:
The essay is not exactly right on the topic.
Always put a space after punctuation marks. E-rater is sensitive.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: ?
Category: ? Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 12 15
No. of Words: 432 350
No. of Characters: 1748 1500
No. of Different Words: 188 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.559 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.046 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.136 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 88 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 53 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 32 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 20 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 36 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 28.539 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.833 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.444 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.603 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.323 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5