Nowadays it’s easy to maintain health than the past
In the contemporary world, the developments of biological science and medicine industry may give us an impression that we are healthier that people in the past are.Admittedly, we possess more approaches to stay healthy such as eating organic food and going to the gym regularly. We cannot neglect the reality that there are more dangerous factors threaten our life and our body. So I do not think it’s easy to maintain wholesome than the past.
The first fact we need to concede is that the environmental pollutions are more severe than those in the past, and these factors could have enormous influences on our health. Take the water pollution as an example, nowadays the city need to purify the polluted water by adding some poisonous chemicals so that people always drink toxic water and this water may lead to some disease such as cancer.Besides, considering about the air pollution, modern city has more cars than past and these cars release many venomous gas and grains, these agents would affect people’s respiration system and lead to lung cancer. But when we think about the situation in the past, there’s no pollution in the water and no cars on the street. Therefore ancient people did not take in large amounts of unhealthy materials. So this comparison proves that we modern people cannot maintain health more easily than ancient people can.
Furthermore, the food in the modern society is unhealthy. On the one hand, many modern manufacturers add many chemicals into the food to make sure that the food will not be rotten in the future. But these materials have adverse effects on our body. But ancient people never add unnecessary materials to make the food taste good or prevent boring taste. On the other hand, the food that we eat today is normally produced through several processes, thus the nutrients in the food would flow away in each stage of manufacturing.However, in ancient world, people do not have such sophisticated techniques so that they often eat crude food, but this kind of food without various producing processes must maintain the nutrients of the original food. So we could assume that people in the ancient world will assimilate more positive chemicals from the food.
In addition, we cannot ignore the mental health when we are discussing health. People in contemporary world have more loads and burdens, such as working and studing, and they will accumulate more pressures day by day. Moreover, the relationships among different people become more complicated. They have many pressures from inside and outside world but they do not have ways to release their pressures. As a result, these pressures will affect the people’s mental health. If the people do not have optimistic attitudes toward life and their minds are in abnormal condition, their immune ability will decline and they cannot protect themselves from ill effectively. On the contrary, people in the ancient world do not have many pressures and they could have time to relax. So they would always stay happy and they could get rid of ill.
Based on the arguments above, we could safely conclude that it’s not easier to maintain health in today’s world than in the past. So we need to bear in mind that if we stay far away from unhealthy factors and always be optimistic, we will be healthier than before
- TOEFL integrated writing: Endotherms 70
- TOEFL integrated writing: Chaco housing 90
- TOEFL integrated writing: certifications 90
- Which way do you think is the best way for a student to make new friends?a. joining a sport team b. participates in community activities c. traveling 90
- Nowadays it s easy to maintain health than the past 87
Sentence: So they would always stay happy and they could get rid of ill.
Description: The word ill is not usually used as a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to ill
Sentence: People in contemporary world have more loads and burdens, such as working and studing, and they will accumulate more pressures day by day.
Error: studing Suggestion: No alternate word
flaws:
No. of Words: 561 350 (write the essay in half an hour)
'On the other hand' means However. It doesn't mean 'On another hand'.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 25 in 30
Category: Very Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 24 15
No. of Words: 561 350
No. of Characters: 2696 1500
No. of Different Words: 247 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.867 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.806 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.449 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 182 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 124 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 84 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 62 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.375 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 16.096 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.875 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.333 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.519 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.19 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5