sahar
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Business should do anything they can to make a profit.
Although it is safe to say that all businesses should do their best for making a profit, they should consider some more important issues. From my view point, the moral issues should be considered in all business. Therefore, I definitely disagree with the statement and I believe that we must pay attention to essential moral principles while working in every business. As an architect, I must responsible for the accuracy of my work which I turn in and notice how to behave with my co-workers.
The important thing about a job is how much money can be made by, but the more important one is that how much our work in that business is worthy, accurate, and creditable. For example, I can make lots of money by giving a project of landscape design to the mayor knowing that project is full of deficiencies. In fact, I know if the mayor wants to use my work, he won’t achieve to a successful result and effect. Therefore, with my defect and expensive work, the mayor would undergo tremendous losses. No wonder, I cannot be a kind of people who just think of their own profit without the awareness of the work result.
Businessman must do everything which helps him make more money, but he should notice how behave for making this sum of money. Being honest and loyal with the employer and the co-workers are prior of the making money. We cannot do everything for making money. For example, it is too unfairness that I want show myself skillful and hard working while underestimating my co-workers in front of my employee just in order to earning compliment and financial support. As a matter of fact, there are various ways for making more money, but we should not destroy the good human characters and make sure that we won’t be regretful about what we got it done for the more money in the future.
The way I see, money is the basic need of every one, but the moralities are more valuable. I am not a kind of people who get along with their guilty conscience. So, I would not do everything for make money in my business. With the less money, I can go on but without clear heart, mind, and spirit I cannot. In short, a business man should know for making money what kind of work gives and how behave with others at work.
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Sentence: As an architect, I must responsible for the accuracy of my work which I turn in and notice how to behave with my co-workers.
Description: A modal auxillary is not usually followed by an adjective
Suggestion: Refer to must and responsible
Sentence: Businessman must do everything which helps him make more money, but he should notice how behave for making this sum of money.
Description: The fragment how behave for is rare
Sentence: So, I would not do everything for make money in my business.
Description: The token for is not usually followed by a verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Suggestion: Refer to for and make
Sentence: In short, a business man should know for making money what kind of work gives and how behave with others at work.
Description: The fragment how behave with is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: how to behave
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 24 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 406 350
No. of Characters: 1773 1500
No. of Different Words: 187 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.489 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.367 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.424 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 108 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 66 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 50 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 36 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.368 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.487 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.737 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.352 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.525 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.144 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5