Should students in school take part-time job ?
Many students would like to take part-job while the others use the allowance given by their parents. As for me, I prefer to take part-time job rather than receive my parents' money only. Based on my own experience, I will explore my two primary reasons as follows.
Firstly, It's the part-time job that contributes to the student's independence. Capital is a necessary part of our daily life, if we are accustomed to receive the allowance from our parents, we will rely heavily on our family. Even worse, every time when we suffer from a problem, we immediately remained of parents to ask for help. On the contrary, It's possible for us to become independent on our life if we can earn money by ourselves. There's no doubt that we can realize the difficulty of earning money. Consequently, We have no other choice but to limit our expense under our budget. Furthermore, We will be capable to gain the capital basic on our demand. Take my roommate as an example, last month, she caught a sight of a charming clothe, urfortunately, she didn't have enough money to afford it, then she find a market researching company which suply her a job as an surveyor for one month, from which she got enough money to buy the clothe.
Secondly, the part-time job is recognized as a significant social experience except for the full time job. Limited by the class which they have to participate in, part-time job is the only gate that students can accumulate their working experience. From these experience, there's no denying the fact that they are feasible to communicate with more people in addition to their classmates and teachers. As it's essential for them to find methods to achieve their goal set by the company, they finally benefit from the process and build up their knowledge of how to solve the problem. For instance, when my roommate took the job of questionaire research, as she told me, she asked many fellow workers how to handle this job, and she completed her job excellently by appearing as much hospitable as possible. That's how she learned to deal with the target from the job, by asking your fellow workers when you get into the puzzle.
To draw my conclusion, from the two points I've discussed above, we can gain not only the independence but also the social experience from the part-time job. Accordingly, I strongly reccomend the school students take part-time job while keep pace with their course.
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Sentence: Take my roommate as an example, last month, she caught a sight of a charming clothe, urfortunately, she didn't have enough money to afford it, then she find a market researching company which suply her a job as an surveyor for one month, from which she got enough money to buy the clothe.
Description: The fragment she find a is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace find with verb, past tense
Description: The fragment which suply her is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace suply with verb, past tense
Sentence: Take my roommate as an example, last month, she caught a sight of a charming clothe, urfortunately, she didn't have enough money to afford it, then she find a market researching company which suply her a job as an surveyor for one month, from which she got enough money to buy the clothe.
Error: suply Suggestion: supply
Error: urfortunately Suggestion: unfortunately
Sentence: For instance, when my roommate took the job of questionaire research, as she told me, she asked many fellow workers how to handle this job, and she completed her job excellently by appearing as much hospitable as possible.
Error: questionaire Suggestion: questionnaire
Sentence: Accordingly, I strongly reccomend the school students take part-time job while keep pace with their course.
Error: reccomend Suggestion: recommend
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 26 in 30
Category: Very Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 4 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 419 350
No. of Characters: 1945 1500
No. of Different Words: 220 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.524 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.642 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.587 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 129 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 99 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 63 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 44 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.053 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.344 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.789 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.335 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.512 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.234 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5