In today's world The number of endangered animal species has been increasing day by day and I believe that humans must take some serious steps to control it but when it comes to choose land for the use of either humans or animals.I'll definitely go with the former for some very important reasons which I will explore further.
First,as most people are dependent on foods that are crops of farmlands.For example fruits,vegetables grains etc.and if there are not enough farmland available for farming,it will make humans struggle for food,which in turn will force them to depend on animals.They will most likely kill animals and eat them as there would be no other option to continue living.
Second,Human is a species that can't live in open and without clothes like animals do.He needs clothes,food and a house for him and his family.In case of lack of land,he wouldn't be able to satisfy these needs which can cause a chaos everywhere and even animal would not be able to find them safe in such an environment.
finally,as far as industry is concerned whether it is harmful in many ways,it is still a necessity for humans. As for a peaceful and normal life they need money which apparently comes from working in different industries.Moreover industries are also important for the production of basic necessities like food,clothes and much more.
The conclusion, which i can draw from above mentioned points is as a responsible human being we all should try to save animals in every way within our reach but this is equivalently true that human needs are more important than animals and the right of human over land is much more than the animals as without humans the world will turn into an awful zoo.
- TOEFL Official Guide - Practice Test 2 - Integrated Writing - Professors on TV 70
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flaws:
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.727 0.12
Always put a space after punctuation marks. E-rater is sensitive.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 25 in 30
Category: Very Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 11 15
No. of Words: 311 350
No. of Characters: 1386 1500
No. of Different Words: 183 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.199 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.457 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.289 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 85 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 58 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 30 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 24 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 28.273 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 17.384 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.727 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.334 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.659 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.118 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5