Topic Successful people accept new things and take risks rather than hold on to the things that they have done well

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Topic: Successful people accept new things and take risks rather than hold on to the things that they have done well.

Achieved men are characterized with the spirit of risking and accepting rather than keeping old opinion. What kind of people who have one of the two characters do you think? When faced with the decision of the former or the latter, quite a few would deem that we can do well if we hold on to the old things, but others, in contrast, believe it as premier choice and that is also my point. Among countless factors which influence it, there are three conspicuous aspects as follow.

The main reason is that the adventure spirit gives us more challenges and experience. If someone has adventure spirit, he will do what others can not accept. Sometimes he have no ideas about a question, he never give up and do his best to so this things until it has been solved by himself. In addition the people like that will also give themselves adventure that can have a risk or practice. For example, my brother is a man who is brave. He is my pattern because as a brother he is persistent, he never escape from the challenge just like a dog. He studies well but it is hard-working rather than talent. Ever time he meet problem, he will solve it even forget resting or sleeping. So he get champion in his class. Adventure spirit is the factor of success.

The second reason can be seen by every person that whichever successful men must keep a positive attitude. When they get up every day, they will smile to themselves and it prepares to face the adventure. If someone has a positive attitude, they want to do anything because taking risks is a wonderful thing what they can improve themselves in different ways. So keeping a positive attitude is the key of success.

In a word, positive attitude and adventure spirits can help people get over a difficulty and become a successful people. Taking into these two factors, we may reach the conclusion that a man who can get accomplishment in his field need a adventure spirit and a positive attitude. Only be brave to do people, they will get a good result.

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Sentence: Sometimes he have no ideas about a question, he never give up and do his best to so this things until it has been solved by himself.
Description: A determiner/pronoun, singular is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to this and things

Sentence: Ever time he meet problem, he will solve it even forget resting or sleeping.
Description: The fragment he meet problem is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace meet with verb, past tense

Sentence: So he get champion in his class.
Description: The fragment he get champion is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace get with verb, past tense

flaws:
Need to polish sentences. For example:

' my brother is a man who is brave. He is my pattern because as a brother he is persistent, he never escape from the challenge just like a dog. He studies well but it is hard-working rather than talent. Ever time he meet problem, he will solve it even forget resting or sleeping. So he get champion in his class. Adventure spirit is the factor of success.'

Look, most of them are simple sentences.

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 22 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 360 350
No. of Characters: 1595 1500
No. of Different Words: 187 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.356 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.431 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.49 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 109 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 75 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 50 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 30 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 17.143 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.425 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.571 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.301 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.481 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.176 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5