You have enough money to purchase either house or business. Which would you choose to buy?
Business has had striking improvement in recent century, as we follow the billionaires of the world, we understand they are people who invest their money on various types of business, reaching a large amount of money. Nobody can deny the significant impact of business providing an opportunity to acquire plentiful money in youth. The more money we reach, the more fortunate we would have. Maybe business is the only way for people have not much money, and they can infinite times increase their investment. As I am a sort of people who like to accept the risks and occupy myself with plethora challenges, if I had amount of money regardless of how much it is, I would try to raise it by enterprise in one specific business.
It is impossible to exaggerate business is where we can create a lot of creativities, innovations, and finding a new way to arrive to money that nobody has experienced it yet. Nowadays, we are witness of copious START UP in every field we can imagine. There is no restriction for business to go ahead and become a net in all fields. Furthermore, money makes the life of all us better, why do we eschew us to earn much more?
Admittedly, when we raised our money, we can purchase a house. If we directly with an amount of money we had at first, tried to buy a house, our money have never changed and maybe gradually it loses its value. What's more, virtually life of people is transmuted to become more challengeable and people want to take apart in some jeopardize. If someone prefers to be in constant position rather than compete in such competitions, he would be placed back of enhancements, consequently the life would be harder for him.
To wrap up, taking all aforementioned reasons, it can be concluded that business is the best place for us to emerge a lot of inventions to arrive much money. Therefore, after raising our money, we can allocate a portion of it to buy a house, spend a rest of it for other satisfaction.
- Test 1, Delta's key (integrated writing) 70
- Populations of the yellow cedar, a species of tree that is common in northwestern North America, have been steadily declining for more than a century now, since about 1880. Scientists have advanced several hypotheses to explain this decline.One hypothesis 80
- The sea otter is a small mammal that lives in waters along the western coast of North America from California to Alaska When some sea otter populations off the Alaskan coast started rapidly declining a few years ago it caused much concern because sea otte 72
- In your country is there more need for land to be left in its natural condition or is there more need for land to be developed for housing and industry 57
- the 21st century has begun. What changes do you think this new century will bring? 63
Maybe business is the only way for people have not much money, and they can infinite times increase their investment.
Suggestion: Can you re-write this sentence? A lot of errors.
we are witness of copious...
we are witnessing of copious
Sentence: Furthermore, money makes the life of all us better, why do we eschew us to earn much more?
Description: A determiner/pronoun, pre-quantifier is not usually followed by a pronoun, personal, accusative
Suggestion: Refer to all and us
Sentence: What's more, virtually life of people is transmuted to become more challengeable and people want to take apart in some jeopardize.
Error: challengeable Suggestion: No alternate word
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
Still have grammatical issues. Read a good grammar book.
Use simper words. Don't use the words you are not sure like 'jeopardize'.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 23 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 349 350
No. of Characters: 1563 1500
No. of Different Words: 189 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.322 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.479 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.716 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 99 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 67 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 53 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 33 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.267 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.066 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.333 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.386 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.559 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.218 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5