Both jobs and social life bring people happiness, of course. But in my opinion, the happiness brought by the social life really pales in comparison to the happiness we could gain from our jobs.
What jobs bring us is not just the financial compensation, but more importantly, the sense of achievement, which attaches more meaning to my life. Think about teachers. Their job includes giving lectures, doing teaching researches, and checking students’ work, which sometimes can be quite laborious. But once seeing that students are progressing in their academic performance, or realizing that students’ behavior pattern are evolving towards a better direction, teachers would be all surrounded by the sense of achievement. Likewise, think about policemen. Their work can be really dangerous, because they need to arrest criminals, and so frequently they are left with little time to rest. But remembering that the society becomes safer and more stable because of them, they will be willing to shoulder this kind of responsibility. Jobs undoubtedly bring people the sense of fulfillment.
Of course, the social life with friends brings us emotional consolation—we could feel totally relaxed after a day’s work, chatting over the dinner table and going shopping together with our besties. It’s largely true. But as for me, the more relaxing moments are those ones when I am alone, hitting the gym or curling in the bed, reading my favorite book. Also, sometimes social life brings pressure. In the conversation with friends, sometimes the income, the marriage issues, the child issues, and so on will pop up. I still remember one of the most embarrassing moments. That was a day when I was in a party, celebrating a friend’s birthday. She suddenly proposed a toast, “wish Niki could find a boyfriend ASAP”. That moment I felt both awkward and ashamed. In the social life, however, these moments usually strike all of a sudden, which is why I could hardly find joy in all sorts of social activities.
Hereby I have made myself quite clear: people could gain more happiness through jobs than their social life.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 274, Rule ID: THESE_ONES[1]
Message: This phrase is probably grammatically incorrect. Write 'those' instead.
Suggestion: those
...s for me, the more relaxing moments are those ones when I am alone, hitting the gym or cur...
^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, however, if, likewise, really, so, still, as for, kind of, of course, in my opinion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 12.0 15.1003584229 79% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 9.8082437276 112% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 13.8261648746 101% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 11.0286738351 91% => OK
Pronoun: 34.0 43.0788530466 79% => OK
Preposition: 38.0 52.1666666667 73% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 8.0752688172 87% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1808.0 1977.66487455 91% => OK
No of words: 345.0 407.700716846 85% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.24057971014 4.8611393121 108% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.3097767484 4.48103885553 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.89186765789 2.67179642975 108% => OK
Unique words: 207.0 212.727598566 97% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.6 0.524837075471 114% => OK
syllable_count: 540.0 618.680645161 87% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 9.59856630824 83% => OK
Article: 6.0 3.08781362007 194% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 3.51792114695 28% => OK
Conjunction: 9.0 1.86738351254 482% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 4.0 4.94265232975 81% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 20.6003584229 102% => OK
Sentence length: 16.0 20.1344086022 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 57.0807996359 48.9658058833 117% => OK
Chars per sentence: 86.0952380952 100.406767564 86% => OK
Words per sentence: 16.4285714286 20.6045352989 80% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.47619047619 5.45110844103 82% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 11.8709677419 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.85842293907 104% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.88709677419 82% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.296408973784 0.236089414692 126% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0782296928267 0.076458572812 102% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.103067202092 0.0737576698707 140% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.241778407767 0.150856017488 160% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.13287294683 0.0645574589148 206% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.5 11.7677419355 98% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 55.24 58.1214874552 95% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 10.1575268817 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.82 10.9000537634 118% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.23 8.01818996416 103% => OK
difficult_words: 83.0 86.8835125448 96% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 10.002688172 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.4 10.0537634409 84% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.