People today spend too much time on personal enjoyment- doing things they like to do – rather than doing things they should do.
Nowadays, increasing the technology and facilities, people have quite of few expectations of their life, so when they would be delightful in their life, they have appealed to allocate much time to some activities are never advised by sophisticated people. In fact, they seek some purposes only for their personal enjoyment and do not care about consequences, also even they ignore all aspects of true life to reach an enjoyable desire. In my opinion, in today, people like to spend their time on a personal enjoyment even these activities should not be recommended, and I explain my reasons hereunder.
The first reason comes to mind is that throughout the history, people like to know about all news represent all incidents have happened around them, but in contemporary life, people spend too much time on many news are spread throughout the world through media and other means of communications. In fact, the majority of news includes the daily information of models and cinema stars to show how their lives are passed. Generally, many people spend their time to read and hear models news and enjoy with this act; therefore, many their helpful time dissipated can be spent in many useful activities such as reading books, learning some practical application of computer and so forth. For example, when I was a student at a university, I spent my study time on following the news of a star on the YouTube channel every day. After the semester, I took low scores in some courses.
Another reason for this stance is that past people allocated all their time to useful activities to meet their needs such as cultivating, fishing, and trading; however, nowadays, many people enjoy spending most of their time to do hobby activities such as watching TV, surfing the Internet, chatting with friends by smartphones. Although all above activities are appropriate somewhat, people are deprived of many standards of healthy lifestyle due to the fact that they tend to be more motionless in their life. Rationally, people should do all above activities normally and devote partly their time to other aspects of human life. Other activities such as doing enough exercise, being with their family, visiting different places as travelling should be considered by people in their daily life to be saved from not only physically but also mentally diseases. As medical standpoint in Asian countries shows that people preferring to be more inactive in their life are highly receptive to many danger illnesses throughout their life.
All in all, in my opinion, many people instinctively like to do some enjoyable activities due to satisfying about their life, but the missing link in this viewpoint is what they should do. In today’s world, many people pursue to do many dispensable and useless activities such as follow many models news and motionless activities such as watch TV only for enjoying, as a result of not bringing for them any benefits.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 206, Rule ID: MANY_FEW_UNCOUNTABLE[2]
Message: Use 'much' or 'little' with uncountable nouns.
Suggestion: much; little
...ary life, people spend too much time on many news are spread throughout the world th...
^^^^
Line 2, column 206, Rule ID: MANY_NN_U[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun news seems to be uncountable; consider using: 'much news', 'a good deal of news'.
Suggestion: much news; a good deal of news
...ary life, people spend too much time on many news are spread throughout the world through...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 861, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “As” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
... physically but also mentally diseases. As medical standpoint in Asian countries s...
^^
Line 4, column 283, Rule ID: AS_FOLLOW[1]
Message: Did you mean 'as follows'?
Suggestion: as follows
...dispensable and useless activities such as follow many models news and motionless activit...
^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, however, if, so, therefore, for example, in fact, such as, as a result, in my opinion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 15.1003584229 119% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 9.8082437276 61% => OK
Conjunction : 15.0 13.8261648746 108% => OK
Relative clauses : 6.0 11.0286738351 54% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 41.0 43.0788530466 95% => OK
Preposition: 76.0 52.1666666667 146% => OK
Nominalization: 4.0 8.0752688172 50% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2455.0 1977.66487455 124% => OK
No of words: 487.0 407.700716846 119% => OK
Chars per words: 5.04106776181 4.8611393121 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.69766713281 4.48103885553 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.72926099464 2.67179642975 102% => OK
Unique words: 235.0 212.727598566 110% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.482546201232 0.524837075471 92% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 776.7 618.680645161 126% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 9.59856630824 42% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 3.51792114695 142% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.86738351254 214% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 7.0 4.94265232975 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 15.0 20.6003584229 73% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 32.0 20.1344086022 159% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 70.409721551 48.9658058833 144% => OK
Chars per sentence: 163.666666667 100.406767564 163% => OK
Words per sentence: 32.4666666667 20.6045352989 158% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.86666666667 5.45110844103 126% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.5376344086 72% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 11.8709677419 84% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.85842293907 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.88709677419 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.249412181658 0.236089414692 106% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.103905878296 0.076458572812 136% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0818898684796 0.0737576698707 111% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.189312476452 0.150856017488 125% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.069506360662 0.0645574589148 108% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 18.5 11.7677419355 157% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 39.0 58.1214874552 67% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 6.10430107527 183% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 15.8 10.1575268817 156% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.54 10.9000537634 115% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.86 8.01818996416 110% => OK
difficult_words: 112.0 86.8835125448 129% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 19.5 10.002688172 195% => OK
gunning_fog: 14.8 10.0537634409 147% => OK
text_standard: 20.0 10.247311828 195% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.