People today spend too much time on personal enjoyment-doing things they like to do rather than doing things they should do.

Essay topics:

People today spend too much time on personal enjoyment-doing things they like to do rather than doing things they should do.

There can be no doubt that, nowadays, attention to freedom in behavior and ideas is more seen in the modern lives. No one can deny the direct and indirect role of freedom in different aspects of individual or society lives or even on responsibilities. Now the controversial question which arises is whether or not people today spend too much time on personal enjoyment-doing things they like to do rather than doing things they should do. From my vantage point of view, individuals’ enjoyments and assumption on responsibilities do not contradict each other. So I disagree with that idea. In the following paragraphs, I will pinpoint the most outstanding reasons.
First of all, I wish to point out the role of the government in making support people in ones’ ideas and behaviors that they enjoy. We all know through the passage of time, governments try to pay more attention to peoples' needs and nowadays in many developed countries, individuals enjoyment-doing things have intended as human rights. For example in my country, participating in international sport matches was forbidden for women, but recently the government have passed the law that make it free for them. Therefore, you can understand in the modern lives, people prefer to accomplish what bring about the most pleasure and pleasant.
The second exquisite point to be mentioned, is that individual’s enjoyment-doing things can escalate productivity among people such as students, staff etc. To explain, there is a direct relationship between highly productivity and enjoyment-doing things. In fact, nowadays, as long as people suffer hectic life, they definitely need to refresh themselves. Because otherwise not only they might involve different mental or even physical diseases but also their productivities will go down. A noteworthy statistics, revealed by a recent social study, conducted in the developed countries vividly show that the most important features of successful and prolific people is that they always try to bring about situations which help them to enjoy from jobs that they must do or make jobs delightful for themselves. This importance is always emphasizes not only by researchers but also by doctors. For example when I was graduate in master degree, in the last semester I managed a huge stress related to my thesis. Hence, I had to turn to a doctor. My GP' prescription (my doctor prescribed that) to do some activities along writing thesis, that give me the greatest amount of pleasure, meanwhile doing my project. So after that activities not only I released my huge stress but also I recovered and could do my thesis very good and finally take the best score among my other classmates. Therefore, you can see, how important this factor really is.
As the aforementioned points cited, not only to pursuit enjoyment and assumption accountability don’t contract each other, but also the can be complementary. In fact this matter highly recommended by researchers to have the best enjoyable and productive life, people must intend both doing enjoyment things along taking responsibility.

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Independent TOEFL Writing

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 300, Rule ID: WHETHER[7]
Message: Perhaps you can shorten this phrase to just 'whether'. It is correct though if you mean 'regardless of whether'.
Suggestion: whether
... controversial question which arises is whether or not people today spend too much time on per...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, hence, if, really, second, so, therefore, while, as for, for example, in fact, no doubt, such as, first of all

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 12.0 15.1003584229 79% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 9.8082437276 143% => OK
Conjunction : 22.0 13.8261648746 159% => OK
Relative clauses : 14.0 11.0286738351 127% => OK
Pronoun: 48.0 43.0788530466 111% => OK
Preposition: 62.0 52.1666666667 119% => OK
Nominalization: 15.0 8.0752688172 186% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2606.0 1977.66487455 132% => OK
No of words: 496.0 407.700716846 122% => OK
Chars per words: 5.25403225806 4.8611393121 108% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.71922212354 4.48103885553 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.16513508793 2.67179642975 118% => OK
Unique words: 279.0 212.727598566 131% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.5625 0.524837075471 107% => OK
syllable_count: 801.0 618.680645161 129% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 10.0 9.59856630824 104% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.94265232975 121% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 20.6003584229 112% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 20.1344086022 104% => OK
Sentence length SD: 60.8331568132 48.9658058833 124% => OK
Chars per sentence: 113.304347826 100.406767564 113% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.5652173913 20.6045352989 105% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.95652173913 5.45110844103 109% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 15.0 11.8709677419 126% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.85842293907 104% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.88709677419 82% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.420784304575 0.236089414692 178% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.104578706787 0.076458572812 137% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.178982672484 0.0737576698707 243% => The coherence between sentences is low.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.268002674737 0.150856017488 178% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.142422079954 0.0645574589148 221% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.1 11.7677419355 120% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 50.16 58.1214874552 86% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 10.1575268817 113% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.17 10.9000537634 121% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.69 8.01818996416 108% => OK
difficult_words: 126.0 86.8835125448 145% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 10.002688172 110% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 10.0537634409 103% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.