IELTS wrting task 1 test 1 cambridge ielts 8

The pie chart explains the important causes of land degradation globally and the table shows the causes in three regions North America Europe and Oceania during the year 1990.

Overall,overgrazing contributed the highest to the worldwide land destruction and large area of land destroyed was in Europe.

Eventhough,one third of land was destructed as a result of overgrazing(35%) deforestation and over cultivation contributed to a large proportion falling to 30% and 28% respectively.But the remaining causes accounts for 7% only.

Moving to the details of regional degradation of land ,23 % of total land destruction was in Europe where as, in Oceania it comes to about 13 % ,almost half compared to Europe.Although 9.8 % land was degraded by deforestation in europe which contributed to the major cause,it comes to only 1.7 % in Oceania.At the same time the main reason in Oceania was overgrazing (11.3%).Inspite of higher values of overcultivation in Europe(7.7%),it is not present in Oceania.Incontrast ,total land degraded in North America was negligible (5%)

Votes
Average: 5.5 (4 votes)
Essays by the user:

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 8, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , overgrazing
...Oceania during the year 1990. Overall,overgrazing contributed the highest to the worldwid...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 11, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , one
...d destroyed was in Europe. Eventhough,one third of land was destructed as a resul...
^^^^
Line 5, column 180, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: But
...ion falling to 30% and 28% respectively.But the remaining causes accounts for 7% on...
^^^
Line 7, column 54, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
... details of regional degradation of land ,23 % of total land destruction was in Eu...
^^
Line 7, column 101, Rule ID: WHERE_AS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'whereas'?
Suggestion: whereas
...of total land destruction was in Europe where as, in Oceania it comes to about 13 % ,alm...
^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 144, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...re as, in Oceania it comes to about 13 % ,almost half compared to Europe.Although ...
^^
Line 7, column 177, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Although
...ut 13 % ,almost half compared to Europe.Although 9.8 % land was degraded by deforestatio...
^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 273, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , it
...ope which contributed to the major cause,it comes to only 1.7 % in Oceania.At the s...
^^^
Line 7, column 308, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: At
...cause,it comes to only 1.7 % in Oceania.At the same time the main reason in Oceani...
^^
Line 7, column 374, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Inspite
...reason in Oceania was overgrazing 11.3%.Inspite of higher values of overcultivation in ...
^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 461, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Incontrast
...Europe7.7%,it is not present in Oceania.Incontrast ,total land degraded in North America w...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 471, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...,it is not present in Oceania.Incontrast ,total land degraded in North America was...
^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, so, third, as a result

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 7.0 7.0 100% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 0.0 1.00243902439 0% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 6.8 88% => OK
Relative clauses : 2.0 3.15609756098 63% => OK
Pronoun: 3.0 5.60731707317 54% => OK
Preposition: 32.0 33.7804878049 95% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 3.97073170732 227% => Less nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 900.0 965.302439024 93% => OK
No of words: 163.0 196.424390244 83% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.52147239264 4.92477711251 112% => OK
Fourth root words length: 3.57311423478 3.73543355544 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.67397355474 2.65546596893 138% => OK
Unique words: 96.0 106.607317073 90% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.588957055215 0.547539520022 108% => OK
syllable_count: 271.8 283.868780488 96% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.45097560976 117% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 1.53170731707 131% => OK
Article: 1.0 4.33902439024 23% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 1.07073170732 93% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 0.482926829268 207% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 2.0 3.36585365854 59% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 4.0 8.94146341463 45% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 40.0 22.4926829268 178% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 156.045466131 43.030603864 363% => The lengths of sentences changed so frequently.
Chars per sentence: 225.0 112.824112599 199% => OK
Words per sentence: 40.75 22.9334400587 178% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.75 5.23603664747 129% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 3.83414634146 104% => OK
Language errors: 12.0 1.69756097561 707% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 0.0 3.70975609756 0% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 1.13902439024 351% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.09268292683 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0 0.215688989381 0% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0 0.103423049105 0% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0 0.0843802449381 0% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0 0.15604864568 0% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0 0.0819641961636 0% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 24.9 13.2329268293 188% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 22.42 61.2550243902 37% => Flesch_reading_ease is low.
smog_index: 15.9 6.51609756098 244% => Smog_index is high.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 20.1 10.3012195122 195% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 15.62 11.4140731707 137% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 10.27 8.06136585366 127% => OK
difficult_words: 48.0 40.7170731707 118% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 15.5 11.4329268293 136% => OK
gunning_fog: 18.0 10.9970731707 164% => OK
text_standard: 16.0 11.0658536585 145% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.

Rates: 11.2359550562 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.