TOEFL integrated writing: Altruism.

The lecture contradicts the idea of altruism given in the reading.

In the reading, altruism is a way of helping other people or, in the case of animals, other mammals, reptiles, etc. without any reward. The example they use is the case of the meerkats which have a sentinel in the group to take care of the other members while they look for food and feed themselves. The text places these furry animals as entities capable of its own sacrifice in the aim of saving its groups' lives, while putting themselves into greater risk. Also the case for humans, when donating an organ.

Nevertheless, as the lecture mentions, there is a downside to this altruism. The meerkat that is set to take care of the other animals in the place, is already full of food and ready to run at any predators threat, leaving the rest of the family at its own mercy, and having a clear advantage when giving the alarm call. The same goes for the human, when receiving compliments from society, the moment the donation takes place.

When we analyse these points of view, we can tell that altruism has both a good and a bad side.The nice part of it is that you put others first, but in the aim of doing so, you can also be selfish and commit actions for the sake of appreciation and approval from others.

In conclusion, altruist humans and animals also receive something in exchange for their good will.

Votes
Average: 0.3 (1 vote)
Essay Categories
Integrated TOEFL Writing

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 461, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Also,
...e putting themselves into greater risk. Also the case for humans, when donating an o...
^^^^
Line 7, column 96, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: The
...altruism has both a good and a bad side.The nice part of it is that you put others ...
^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, if, look, nevertheless, so, while, in conclusion

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 7.0 10.4613686534 67% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 3.0 5.04856512141 59% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 7.30242825607 123% => OK
Relative clauses : 8.0 12.0772626932 66% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 19.0 22.412803532 85% => OK
Preposition: 33.0 30.3222958057 109% => OK
Nominalization: 2.0 5.01324503311 40% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1142.0 1373.03311258 83% => OK
No of words: 249.0 270.72406181 92% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.58634538153 5.08290768461 90% => OK
Fourth root words length: 3.97237131171 4.04702891845 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.35940271699 2.5805825403 91% => OK
Unique words: 145.0 145.348785872 100% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.582329317269 0.540411800872 108% => OK
syllable_count: 352.8 419.366225166 84% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.55342163355 90% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 3.25607064018 61% => OK
Article: 7.0 8.23620309051 85% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 1.25165562914 399% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 2.0 1.51434878587 132% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 2.5761589404 155% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 11.0 13.0662251656 84% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 22.0 21.2450331126 104% => OK
Sentence length SD: 74.8465096047 49.2860985944 152% => OK
Chars per sentence: 103.818181818 110.228320801 94% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.6363636364 21.698381199 104% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.0 7.06452816374 85% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.09492273731 122% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 4.19205298013 48% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 4.33554083885 161% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 4.45695364238 67% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.27373068433 23% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0617104834539 0.272083759551 23% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0311711964822 0.0996497079465 31% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0453466467147 0.0662205650399 68% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.044343469138 0.162205337803 27% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.038212529695 0.0443174109184 86% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.5 13.3589403974 86% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 66.07 53.8541721854 123% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 5.55761589404 56% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 11.0289183223 86% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.64 12.2367328918 79% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.15 8.42419426049 97% => OK
difficult_words: 54.0 63.6247240618 85% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 7.5 10.7273730684 70% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 10.498013245 103% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 11.2008830022 89% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.

Rates: 3.33333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.