"On Balmer Island, where mopeds serve as a popular form of transportation, the population increases to 100,000 during the summer months. To reduce the number of accidents involving mopeds and pedestrians, the town council of Balmer Island should limit the number of mopeds rented by the island's moped rental companies from 50 per day to 25 per day during the summer season. By limiting the number of rentals, the town council will attain the 50 percent annual reduction in moped accidents that was achieved last year on the neighboring island of Seaville, when Seaville's town council enforced similar limits on moped rentals."
The argument that reducing mopeds on Balmer Island can reduce the accidents at the island seems tenable at first glance. However, the author failed to provide clear data and evidence to support that argument. Here are several reasons to argue that statement.
First of all, the author assume that the more mopeds available to be rented the more accidents will occur. In fact, the accidents can happen due to many reasons, not only mopeds. It could happen by some other reasons such as private car, motorcycle, or pedestrian. To state that more mopeds imply more accidents, the author must provide the statistical data of accidents and showing that the majority of them are correlated to mopeds. Furthermore, by limiting mopeds, people will tend to use their own vehicle and it implies the more car will available on the roads. It implies the city town will be more crowded and it does not imply the accident can be diminished.
Secondly, the author claimed this plan will be successful by learning the successful of the neighboring island of Seaville which attain 50 percent annual reduction. This statement cannot be accept with certainty because there are some other factor that the author must take into account such as the landscape and traffic management. The author must provide the information about the traffic management at Saeville such as the availability of traffic police at the city. The topography of landscape also play an important role in causing an accident because there are some landscape in which accidents often occur. For example, in Aceh, Indonesia, there is one street with name Selawah street which is not so quite. Even so, almost everyday there is an accident at that street because the landscape is full of bends.
In conclusion, the argument is flawed for the above mentioned reasons and therefore unconvincing. It could be strengthen if the author some relevant facts such as the percentage of accidents caused by mopeds compared to the percentage of those caused by other vehicles. Without this information, the argument is still debatable.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
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Sentence: First of all, the author assume that the more mopeds available to be rented the more accidents will occur.
Description: The fragment author assume that is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace assume with verb, past tense
Sentence: To state that more mopeds imply more accidents, the author must provide the statistical data of accidents and showing that the majority of them are correlated to mopeds.
Description: The fragment majority of them is not usually followed by are
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace are with is
Sentence: Furthermore, by limiting mopeds, people will tend to use their own vehicle and it implies the more car will available on the roads.
Description: A modal auxillary is not usually followed by an adjective
Suggestion: Refer to will and available
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 342 350
No. of Characters: 1695 1500
No. of Different Words: 166 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.3 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.956 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.512 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 130 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 91 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 61 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 42 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.137 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.833 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.308 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.516 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.076 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5