The following appeared in a recommendation from the President of the Amburg Chamber of Commerce.
"Last October, the city of Belleville installed high-intensity lighting in its central business district, and vandalism there declined almost immediately. The city of Amburg, on the other hand, recently instituted police patrols on bicycles in its business district. However, the rate of vandalism here remains constant. Since high-intensity lighting is clearly the most effective way to combat crime, we recommend using the money that is currently being spent on bicycle patrols to install such lighting throughout Amburg. If we install this high-intensity lighting, we will significantly reduce crime rates in Amburg."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
The argument in question puts forth a reasonable suggestion expected to subdue vandalism in Amburg. As reported by the author, the measures currently active in the city for the same have been proven inadequate, wherein the introduction of police patrols on bicycles have had no significant impact on the current rate of vandalism in the city of Amburg. On the other hand, the author notes that the introduction of high-intensity lights in the city of Belleville have had a significantly reduced vandalism related incidents. However, since the author has failed to provide any specific information, or supporting data to buttress his argument, and henceforth his solution, it is in need of some serious scrutiny before any action is taken to formally accept and implement them.
The most important concern plagues the argument is the lack of any information regarding the demographics of the two cities. How big are the two cities? Is the population density the same for the two cities? Hoe ethnically diverse are the two cities? What is the literacy and employment rates for the two cities? It is imperative that these and other such questions be answered with appropriately collected data before any decision is made for any of the cities.
Maybe Belleville is significantly larger in size than Amburg which made having bicycle patrols impractical. Furthermore, tight budget for the city, or limited training of the officers, or some other reason may have restrained them from using motorised patrol vehicles, and using high visibility lights proved more practical.
On the same line of assumption, it is quiet possible that Belleville is less densely populated than Amburg, having vast tracts of empty spaces. People interested in vandalising activities can take advantage of darkness at night, and the high-visibility lights, in this case, would thus prove more successful by expanding the field of vision for any patrol or concerned citizen.
The author has put forth a tangible solution to an issue that needs immediate alleviation. But the situation needs to be analysed first from the perspective of the two cities separately with appropriate data, rather by assuming a one-size-fits-all kind of strategy.
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flaws:
Introduction can be shorter. More content wanted for the arguments. Need to find arguments from statement:
1. "Last October, the city of Belleville installed high-intensity lighting in its central business district, and vandalism there declined almost immediately.
-- maybe not because of high-intensity lighting, but other factors.
2. The city of Amburg, on the other hand, recently instituted police patrols on bicycles in its business district. However, the rate of vandalism here remains constant.
--how many police patrols on bicycles in its business district? It is not going to work if there is only one policeman patrolling in its business district...
3. If we install this high-intensity lighting, we will significantly reduce crime rates in Amburg.
--Can't compare city Belleville to Amburg; vandalism is not equal to crime rates either;
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 355 350
No. of Characters: 1821 1500
No. of Different Words: 197 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.341 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.13 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.893 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 139 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 98 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 81 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 55 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.188 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.403 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.375 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.336 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.619 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.152 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5