Some people think that human needs for farmland, housing, and industry are more important than saving land for endangered animals. Do you agree or disagree with this point of view? Why or why not? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Earth is the home of all living creatures. Due to the development that the world has witnessed, the human needs have changed and increased. Some people said that it’s better to use the wide lands as the home of all endangers animals, but I think that these lands should use to provide the human needs.
First of all, using these lands as farmlands can solve many problems in the world, because many countries have suffered from the starvation especially in the Africa. So if the human planted these lands, their production will be enough to feed a million of poor families. The world is nothing without human, it will transform to the zoo if the human being was not exist. For example, last summer I traveled to the poor town in Africa, it was really tragic scene. Many children have suffered from the hunger, I saw their skeleton and it was horrible. So if the people think a little bit about using this land as a farm land, they can help many poor families to find at least one meal in the day to eat.
Second, a lot of people graduated from the university with great certification and qualification in different fields, but they haven’t found a job yet. So if they build factories using these lands, they can help the society by two ways. The first one, the opportunity to find a work for those whom need money will increase. Everyone knows that price of everything is increase the double, so the people need money to buy at least the food and drinks to their family and to get money they need to work. The second one, these industries can provide for the inhabitants many necessary things as, clothes to wear, cars to transport them from one place to another and etc.
Third, many of the persons are without shelters, because they cannot have the ability to pay for the client. It’s a serious problem; imagine that you are without home to protect you and your family in the cold days. So using these lands to build houses for those people by helping of government, can solve these problems.
Finally, what I mentioned before doesn’t mean that I don’t care in animals. These animals are also having the rights to find home. Human loves to progress his country, sure if he used these lands to build a mall or others things that benefit his country, he will never forget to build the zoo as a home to those animals. In addition, he constructed centers to teach the people how they must deal with these animals such as Banda.
To sum up, both animals and human beings are important creatures for life continuity, but in this situation the priority for the human to get what he wants, because by the human the animals can live.
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Sentence: Some people said that it's better to use the wide lands as the home of all endangers animals, but I think that these lands should use to provide the human needs.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to endangers and animals
Sentence: Everyone knows that price of everything is increase the double, so the people need money to buy at least the food and drinks to their family and to get money they need to work.
Description: The token is is not usually followed by a verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Suggestion: Refer to is and increase
Sentence: Human loves to progress his country, sure if he used these lands to build a mall or others things that benefit his country, he will never forget to build the zoo as a home to those animals.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to others and things
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 25 in 30
Category: Very Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 478 350
No. of Characters: 2094 1500
No. of Different Words: 228 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.676 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.381 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.215 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 117 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 82 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 47 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 30 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.762 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.836 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.81 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.297 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.511 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.111 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5