Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
People should take time to relax with hobbies or physical activities that are very different from what they do at work.
It is obvious that humans spend most of their time doing work at their workplace in order to earn their living and achieve their goals in their life. Nevertheless, they need to allocate certain time to doing other activities or hobbies in their lives for the purpose of satisfying their other needs. Therefore, I strongly believe that people should take time to relax themselves with doing activities which are different from their regular tasks at work. In the following paragraphs, I will discuss my view, using some reasons and examples.
To begin with, I think when people spend most of their time carrying out their duties at work, it will cause them to become very tired and exhausted. Thus, they will not have enough energy to continue doing their work efficiently, and their working efficiency will decrease. As a result, it is necessary for them to assign enough time to relax themselves with hobbies such as watching TV, reading books, going to Movie Theater, and so on. It will help them to release their stress resulted from work pressure at work and to have required mental ability to work effectively. For instance, my father often reads books and writes poems on weekends. He tells me that he enjoys doing these activities and they assist him to be able to focus on his work during weekdays.
Secondly, doing activities dissimilar to those which people do at work not only will lead them to have more ability and energy to work better but also will help them to be physically and mentally healthier. For example, most of people are forced to sit behind their computer system for hours or to stand up for a long time. Hence, they are in danger of suffering from various diseases such as obesity, heart disorders, etc. in fact, concentrating only on doing tasks at work without paying enough attention to relaxation will damage individuals' health. If they allot part of their time doing activities like playing sport or exercising, it will prevent them from suffering from these illnesses.
To sum up, according to the points and examples mentioned above, it is essential that people assign part of their time performing activities other than their regular tasks at work. Paying attention to this issue and assigning time to do exercise and hobbies plays a crucial role in people's success in their lives. It will ensure their health emotionally and bodily.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 765, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...e to focus on his work during weekdays. Secondly, doing activities dissimilar to...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 221, Rule ID: MOST_SOME_OF_NNS[1]
Message: After 'most of', you should use 'the' ('most of the people') or simply say ''most people''.
Suggestion: most of the people; most people
...ly and mentally healthier. For example, most of people are forced to sit behind their computer...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, hence, if, nevertheless, second, secondly, so, therefore, thus, for example, for instance, i think, in fact, such as, as a result, to begin with, to sum up
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 8.0 15.1003584229 53% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 9.8082437276 122% => OK
Conjunction : 18.0 13.8261648746 130% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 11.0286738351 63% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 57.0 43.0788530466 132% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 68.0 52.1666666667 130% => OK
Nominalization: 4.0 8.0752688172 50% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1972.0 1977.66487455 100% => OK
No of words: 403.0 407.700716846 99% => OK
Chars per words: 4.89330024814 4.8611393121 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.48049772903 4.48103885553 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.46692558672 2.67179642975 92% => OK
Unique words: 210.0 212.727598566 99% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.521091811414 0.524837075471 99% => OK
syllable_count: 594.0 618.680645161 96% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 15.0 9.59856630824 156% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 20.6003584229 87% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 20.1344086022 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 36.7033907002 48.9658058833 75% => OK
Chars per sentence: 109.555555556 100.406767564 109% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.3888888889 20.6045352989 109% => OK
Discourse Markers: 9.22222222222 5.45110844103 169% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 11.8709677419 84% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.85842293907 104% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.88709677419 82% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.334595896367 0.236089414692 142% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.119964012385 0.076458572812 157% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0931015439723 0.0737576698707 126% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.227572633107 0.150856017488 151% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0517835337907 0.0645574589148 80% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.8 11.7677419355 109% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 57.61 58.1214874552 99% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 10.1575268817 105% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.38 10.9000537634 104% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.06 8.01818996416 101% => OK
difficult_words: 85.0 86.8835125448 98% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 10.002688172 105% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 10.0537634409 107% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.247311828 107% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.